“I hope to arrive at my death late, in love, and a little drunk.” Atticus. “I will arrive at my death late, and drunk with love.” Charlie Mathews. I never thought I’d fall in love. I am not talking about that delusion that’s a bit like a moulded jelly dessert – which, when left out […]
Charles Lee Mathews
Writer who likes to draw.
Posted inNews/Politics
Geldof ends Ebola
LONDON, United Kingdom The world burst into spontaneous applause today after Bob Geldof announced that Band Aid’s song for Africa — Do They Know It’s Christmas — had cured the Ebola virus. Band Aid is the super-pop-cum-aid group that stopped famine in Ethiopia with song in the early eighties. Band Aid’s original, star-studded recording was […]
Posted inNews/Politics
Gauteng education department ‘kacks bark’
JOHANNESBURG, South Africa Gauteng Education released an angry worded statement, lashing out at critics who pointed fingers at the provincial department for poor spelling in a “Mathematical Literacy P1 Memorandum”. This memorandum was an answer sheet handed out to teachers by the Ekurhuleni North District for a grade 11 standardised maths literacy exam, which contained […]
Posted inNews/Politics
ANC ends period of parliamentary pleasantness
CAPE TOWN, South Africa The African National Congress (ANC) today announced that the ruling party had ended its period of congeniality in SA’s parliamentary caucus. “We rolled out the red carpet to welcome the EFF and their ugly onesies to Parliament, but after they made the parliamentary caucus raucous, there will be no more Mr […]
Posted inMedia, News/Politics
JSE launches petroleum jelly exchange
The Johannesburg Stock Exchange today announced it would launch an international petroleum jelly market in what is set to be the largest soft paraffin futures exchange in the world. This as growing volumes in the trade of multi-hydrocarbons followed in the wake of Jacob Zuma’s presidency in 2009. The market for petroleum jelly, the JSE […]
Posted inNews/Politics
Steve Hofmeyr – SA’s first man without a brain
Neuroscientists at Groote Schuur, Cape Town’s premier academic hospital, today admitted that they were baffled about how alleged author, singer and self-styled Afrikaner saviour Steve Hofmeyr had existed for more than 50 years without a brain. Hofmeyr was airlifted to the pioneering medical centre – the scene of the world’s first heart transplant – after […]
Posted inBusiness, News/Politics
I’ve got two words for ineffective government…
Zuma’s performance agreements with government ministers are a toothless tiger. What’s needed to drive performance and service delivery is bite. What’s needed to drive performance is variable pay.
Posted inNews/Politics, Sport
Patriot games
The World Cup dream has arrived, but don’t forget to return to the hard work of fighting corruption and nation building when the world packs up and goes home. While we watch and get lost in the beautiful game, let’s not completely take our eye off the ball.
Posted inNews/Politics, Tech
Hatebook
As fear and loathing play out in this country, the real question is what can be done to mend SA’s racial divide?
Posted inGeneral
Make the irresponsible accountable
South Africa is experiencing an epidemic of reckless behaviour where the thoughtless, careless and irresponsible are getting away with too much.
Posted inLifestyle
Who are you, really?
Although self awareness isn’t a safeguard against misery or a guarantee of happiness, Socrates’ guiding value has significant value. As the non traditional Latin inscribed on a plaque above the Oracle’s door in the Matrix film trinity advocates: “temet nosce” (“know yourself”).
Posted inLifestyle
How happy are you?
Isn’t it high time the South African government understood how to enhance our gross national happiness? South Africa is one of the unhappiest nations on this earth. We’re not as miserable as Zimbabwe, Sierra Leone, Ethiopia or Angola, but we come in at a lowly 118 out of 143 nations measured in the Happy Planet […]