By Refiloe Makama “Men are never ugly”. Nnu Ego makes this statement in Buchi Emecheta’s novel, The Joys of Motherhood, set during the colonial period in Nigeria. In a scene between two friends, the protagonist Nnu Ego had recently lost her first child, and Ato, her childhood friend comes to comfort her. In a memorable moment, […]
fatherhood
Posted inEquality, Gender violence, Health, Lifestyle
‘Pay up!’ Unmarried fathers’ experiences of fatherhood
Dr. Elmien Lesch Research indicates that absent or uninvolved fathers have a negative impact on the psychosocial well-being of children. This is particularly important for South Africa as it has the second highest rate of father absence in Africa. It is important to keep in mind, however, that the presence of a father in itself […]
Posted inEquality, Gender violence, Lifestyle
Not all women want men to be fathers
Not all men are fathers. Some men will always be just males. Until you have been a “childless father” or watch the Mzansi Magic television series Utatakho you will never know what that means. You will never know the pain, the emptiness that echoes in the heart of a man who is deprived an opportunity […]
Posted inEquality, General
Fanon and the South African father
While there is an exciting movement, especially within neuropsychological disciplines, to highlight the contemporary value of Sigmund Freud’s notion of the unconscious mind, it is important not to dismiss the archaic Eurocentric societal tenants on which much of his work relies. However Freud’s psychosexual work need not be entirely derided on grounds of irrelevance. Particular […]
Posted inGeneral
Wanted: Fathers who can put little boys together
Yehoshua Kurland tells an anecdotal story about a lonely boy who waited eagerly for his father to return from work so he could play ball with him. But dad would arrive late, tired and often with more work to do on his laptop. The boy would persist and pester his father. In frustration one day, […]
Posted inEquality, Health, Lifestyle, Media
South Africa is not a ‘fatherless’ country
By Nick Malherbe In the lead up to Father’s Day, one is often made to think of those who are “fatherless” and the high rate of father absence as a “crisis” of fatherhood. But such thinking cannot continue. I would argue that such a “crisis” stems primarily from the narrow way in which we think […]
Posted inEquality, Lifestyle
The ‘fatherless’ on Father’s Day: Voices from the Cape Flats
By Rebecca Helman In the lead up to Father’s Day on June 21, I’ve been thinking about how important it is for us to redefine who fathers are. In a context where scientific procedures such as sperm donation, surrogacy, artificial insemination and male pregnancy are possible, the boundaries that define who fathers (and mothers) are […]
Posted inGender violence, News/Politics
Fire on the mountain
To shout fire is an act of alarm demanding that everything we are doing at this moment is dropped and postponed because there is a real emergency that overrides all other considerations. The fire threatening us all is the failure of our African masculinity to answer so many of the questions that are being asked […]