So, did anybody read the story about the construction worker who found a cooler box buried underground at an Edenvale construction site? He immediately called the SAPS who, upon investigation, discovered that the cooler box contained R1,5-million in small, unmarked bills. So far this story sounds like a fairy tale involving a hard-working, honest man […]
Ndumiso Ngcobo
Once upon a time, Ndumiso Ngcobo used to be an intelligent, relevant man with a respectable (read: boring-as-crap) job which funded his extensive beer habit.
One day he woke up and discovered that he had lost his mind, quit his well-paying job, penned a collection of hallucinations. A bunch of racist white guys published the collection just to make him look more ridiculous and called it 'Some of my best friends are white'. (Two Dogs, ISBN 978-1-92013-718-2).
Nowadays he spends his days wandering the earth like Kwai Chang Caine, munching locusts, mumbling to himself like John the Baptist and searching for the meaning of life at the bottom of beer mugs.
The racist publishers have reared their ugly heads again and dangled money in his face to pen yet another collection of hallucinations entitled 'Is It Coz 'm Black'.
He will take cash, major credit cards and will perform a strip tease for contributions to his beer fund.
Posted inGeneral
I write about what I write about
I believe I have elevated the art of stating the obvious to new dizzy heights. And I’m not about to disappoint. So I’ll regale you with this revelation: I write about what I write about. Now you might think that this is an unnecessary thing to point out. I forgive you. After all, you are […]
Posted inNews/Politics
Drawing the line: Road rage
If you tune into SABC 2 at 12h30 this Sunday you will catch the start of the second season of the morality debate/talk/game show Drawing the Line. The whole point of the show is to pose a question to find out where South Africans draw the morality/right-and-wrong line. This will be the case for the […]
Posted inLifestyle
My favourite Bible story: Mayhem at the temple
[Disclaimer: If you’re a religious nut who gets offended easily, please sit this one out.] Being the irrational believer in God that I am, I do actually believe that the Holy Bible is the word of God. Perhaps not always in the strictest literal sense, which is probably where the Rev Benny Hinn and I […]
Posted inGeneral
Dealing with people who can’t count
Most South Africans can’t count. This is a much more serious handicap than you might think. Of course numeracy is a major challenge even in the so-called First World. I read somewhere that only 6% of Britons exhibited a satisfactory grasp of the concept of a percentage in a survey. If the stat is true, […]
Posted inNews/Politics
Still don’t know why I should vote DA
Fellow Thought Leader contributor Grant Walliser recently wrote a lengthy piece titled “Why I will vote for the DA” — I must sheepishly confess that I rather enjoyed it. Being the notorious fence-sitter that I am (read: willing to be swayed by compelling arguments), I like watching people with hearts around their sleeves. Grant opened […]
Posted inLifestyle
The day I started going blind
Last Wednesday I started going blind. I was seated at this exact spot writing when I noticed an unusual itchiness in my right eye. So I did what everyone does in these situations. I scratched my right eye. And then, in the interest of balance, I scratched my left eye. And then I scratched my […]
Posted inGeneral
Have you experienced borderline discrimination?
Human beings are a race of discriminators. Almost by definition. Oh, I’m well aware that animals in the wild have their own form of discriminatory practices too. I’ve never heard of a home for visually impaired lion in the far north region of the Kruger National Park. We humans discriminate against each other on the […]
Posted inGeneral
I’m seriously considering voting for the FFP
Starvation dictates that I do some television work now and then. TV programmes pay for FHM subscriptions and other such essentials. To this end, I have taken part in two 13-episode seasons of a television debate/talk show called Drawing the Line. The show is hosted by Lebo Mashile, the poet, and the 2nd season airs […]
Posted inGeneral
Do dof people know that they’re dof?
Reading through my last offering titled “Other people’s kids”, I realised that I had made an accidental point. You know, one I didn’t mean to make. I do that quite often and then when my readers point out that I made an excellent point, I pretend that I was aware of it all along. It’s […]
Posted inGeneral
Other people’s kids
People assume that just because one is a parent, one loves kids. Rubbish, I can’t stand kids that are not my own. And there’s nothing I hate more than parents who can’t stop jabbering on and on about their kids and how smart they are and how “little Sizwe said the sweetest thing the other […]
Posted inNews/Politics
Not everybody should be allowed to vote
Election fever is starting to grip the nation as it does round about this time, every 5 years. This is when that bunch of pretty uninspiring and overfed chair-breakers suddenly remember who made their obesity possible. As is the case around this time, there’s a lot of debate about who should be allowed to vote. […]