2007

Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry, upon seeing a distorted photo image in which her nose appeared large, once made a joke about how she now resembled her Jewish cousin. Although the footage was cut from Jay Leno’s Tonight Show, the “incident” was leaked to the media and all manner of shoe sizes has broken out. The […]

Most white South Africans (and a logarithmically growing number of coconuts black people) believe that driving through “shady” places such as Soweto or Hillbrow has a 100% predictable outcome; lying in a pool of one’s blood with a bunch of “locals” performing a wild dance around one’s soon-to-be-corpse. That’s why people talk about “driving into […]

Being the Sumo, and being a responsible member of society, I have many pressing matters to attend to on a daily basis. Such important matters as making certainly sure, personally, that the employment rate in the fast-food industry grows exponentially each year at the same rate as my gut. I manage this by keeping my […]

I have a stock response to the outraged SMSs and emails from Kenya, Zimbabwe and elsewhere I get on the death of reggae icon Lucky Dube: “He died of our society” — a society that is still learning to value life. I don’t quite remember where I got this from, but it may be a […]