Zimbabwe presidency results: I smell a rat

Something tells me that confirmation by the Zimbabwean Electoral Commission (ZEC) that the Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) will hang onto its parliamentary majority, is just a ruse to lend credibility to the latest of Mugabe’s insane schemes — that the “Old Man” has won the presidential election.

Wild and woolly?

Let’s look at a few givens.

The election was rigged and yet Mugabe and the Zanu-PF still lost
Instead of simply releasing the results as any normal electoral body would do, the ZEC allowed them to filter out as if the MDC and Zanu-PF were running neck and neck
A recount was required even though certain results were not yet released
Mugabe was trying to re-arm his forces
Wholesale murder, torture and intimidation are on the go and,
We still await the presidential election result.

Why after all this time would the presidential result still be outstanding? I know many schools have closed but surely there must be someone left who can count in Zimbabwe. It is inconceivable that the puppets of the ZEC could not count them all by this time? In South Africa, with a far larger electorate, the results are in within a couple of days at worst, usually within hours of the last ballot having been cast.

In terms of strategy let’s look at what Mugabe has tried. Firstly, filtering the results out slowly to make it seem as if a fair, but close contest, was under way. We know that’s garbage because only his newspapers and media were allowed to cover the election. Constituencies were managed to ensure that all of his people voted while urban voters struggled, civil servants and security personel were caught voting before their superiors instead of in private. Moreover, four million exiles — an entire anti Mugabe bloc — were denied the vote, etc, etc, and yet he still managed to lose. (Man oh man they must really hate Uncle Bob badly up there).

Secondly, trying to bring in arms to slaughter those with bad voting habits. The trade unions saw that off and now the African National Congress and other parties are becoming highly annoyed at being used. Go you good things, go! Let Uncle Bob know exactly how you feel and then some.

Thirdly, by ignoring a crisis summit called to try and deal with the deteriorating humanitarian nightmare that is Zimbabwe.

The SADC leaders, on cue, fiddled while Zimbabwe burned but this time powerful African groups inside the ANC and outside are telling Bob it’s time to go.

Worse, while South Africa tried to keep Zimbabwe off the United Nations Security Council agenda others would not allow it. Worse yet, Britain has put it on the table for Tuesday.

So Mugabe and the Zanu-PF are fast running out of time and options.

Suddenly we are told the presidential result is imminent? From the people who told us “we want recounts of unreleased results and we can’t count fast enough” — the ZEC — we suddenly hear they’ve got the whole result in their hands?

Accordingly, it seems that the only tactic left to Bob’s-your-tyrant is to declare himself the winner — perhaps a run-off will be needed — and then point out that the ZEC who gave the MDC the parliamentary decision are not only impartial but even transparent.

In answer to that rubbish is the following: the ZEC have shown they are idiots who cannot count, release results at the whim of Mugabe and are about as impartial as Mugabe’s wife to the election results. So anything they say must be disregarded unless they say that Tsvangirai has won which proves that even Mad-Bob can’t fart against thunder.

If, despite all the rigging, violence, threats, failure of exiles to vote and Bobby organising the count the MDC won a parliamentary majority then only Bob and his uncle Ned from lower Harare-on-the-Wold voted for him to be president.

The planet must do its worst!