Women and the Jesus excuse

There is nothing more annoying than asking a girl out and she gives you the, “I’m sorry I can’t go out with you because I’ve found Jesus,” line. As if Jesus was lost. And now that she has found him, he needs her to look after him until he is nursed back to health. Worse, they say I’m trying to get my relationship with Jesus in order first.

I think an honest, “I’m just not that into you but I’m just that into Jesus,” will do. It bruises the ego but at least it’s honest. Besides, the male ego is resilient and optimistic. It’s too big. It’s too wide. It’s too strong. It won’t fit. It’s too much. Basically a really big ego.

A friend of mine, who shall remain Khaya (yes, laugh), once got the Jesus line. Being the eternal optimist he said to the dear lady, “At least I lost to a better man. He’s perfect, how can I compete?” So I, I mean Khaya. Let’s try this again. So Khaya didn’t take this as being turned down. But he knew he had the wool pulled over his eyes. One day, however, Khaya went back to her and told her to say what she didn’t want to say. He said, “You know what, I want you to say it because I’m not going to say it for you.” He didn’t want someone try to protect his feelings. (Not that he actually has any. OK, just kidding.)

“You can do it,” he coached her. After much encouragement she eventually said it, “It’s not going to happen”. She said it like she didn’t want to say it. My dear friend Khaya leaped to his feet and said, “You see, it’s not so hard, I’m not dead, I’m not crying and Jesus still loves you!” He almost gave her gold star.

Ladies, stay away from using Jesus as an excuse. Sure he’ll forgive you but that line is worse than the favourite guy pick-up line, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” and that’s unforgivable.