West Texas polygamist sect ranch – Whatever happened to great pick-up lines?

It’s funny how people see things so differently. To me my girlfriend is the most beautiful, caring, kind-hearted and special woman in the world – but to my wife she’s… Mind you I’m sure the police weren’t laughing when they removed hundreds of children from a ranch in Texas recently.

According to the Houston Chronicle : “More than 400 children were removed in a raid this month on the Yearning for Zion Ranch run by the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, a renegade Mormon splinter group that allegedly believes in marrying off underage girls to older men. State child-welfare authorities said there was evidence of physical and sexual abuse at the ranch.”

Must be one helluva “splinter” – probably pulled it out of their tochases! You can call it religion if you like, to me, this is some kind of sex slavery. Old geezers having it off with young girls in the name of the church.

In South Africa this crime would run the whole gamut from statutory rape to impersonating a human being. Regardless of the publicity, I don’t act for sick perverts like these. (Although I did act for a Manchester United supporter once – in my own defence he only told me after the trial – that’s the penalty for supporting those clowns. Did I say penalty? How insensitive of me, what with Ronaldo….but I digress).

Seems as if there is no depth to the levels of depravity men won’t sink to in their quest to find women. Whatever happened to romance? Where are the guys on the make with the great pick-up lines?

When we were around 20 years old we used to go to the old Pig & Whistle at the Milpark Holiday Inn and tell women (girls?) we were underwater helicopter pilots. They were more full of nonsense than we were – “Fascinating!”

Themba Molefe in his column for the Sowetan seems to be lamenting the same thing – the good old days of courtship.

Way back when, the guys in the townships would whistle for their sweethearts, who knew their particular tune, to come on down. Today it’s all about under-age dating, pregnancy and slimeballs.

Courtship is the boat that takes you from your trial to the place of your incarceration.

Mind you I’m sure I would have been a very liberal father of a daughter (3 boys so far). On her first date I would say to the guy at the door: “Now don’t worry about the time ; if it’s getting late and you have to book into a hotel don’t be concerned. Rather that than you drink and drive. Happy birthday again honey – Oh! Didn’t you know? It’s her fortieth birthday and it’s the first time I’ve allowed her out of the house!!”

I’m a criminal attorney. Guys, I get to see how sick and depraved you can be. To hell with letting any of you near my daughter! I’d have her spayed, locked in her room and have two starving Rottweilers roaming the garden first.

In Britain they’re seeing an explossion of strip clubs with all the Mother Grundys going on about it being human trafficking in disguise.

For me it is far better for ladies who wish to ply this trade and men who wish to pursue this type of hobby, to do it at organised venues, rather that than having them running around bars and resturants looking for it. By localising the sex trade, you provide places where people who wish to do this can carry on without impacting on the rest of us.

Unfortunately we live in a world where all the secrecy and mystery of sex has been removed. It’s all over the internet, movies, magazines and everywhere else. Once this sexual energy is created, it’s best to have outlets where all these over-egged geniuses can go.

That said, this sect in West Texas is way over the top. The USA judicial system needs to send the strongest possible message: If you can’t be bothered to go to hookers or strip clubs, then buying yourselves sex slaves means never having to say goodbye to Bubba.

He’s on the top bunk in your cell.