Wanted: Assistance for the world's largest cupcake

So it’s finally happening.

Saturday March 15, two days before St Patrick’s Day (in honour of Harry, one of my characters in Strange Nervous Laughter, and his fascination with green food and Irish heritage).

Bread Milk and Honey, the coolest coffee shop/bakery in the Cape Town CBD.

The World’s Largest Cupcake.

Most things are deliciously in order — worldwide media from zOOm Multimedia (sorted), the recipe and how much it needs to be multiplied (sorted), ingredients being sponsored (nearly sorted), excellent plan for festivities (so sorted). There are just one or two things I still need to figure out.

Two, actually:

1. The container. I have a friend who says he’ll help me, but I think the more input the better. The cupcake will be 1m diameter by about 40cm depth. It needs to have a release catch so that it can be removed without having to turn the cupcake upside down. And it needs to be oven friendly … any suggestions?

2. We need official witnesses. Namely, an environmental health or public health official (to prove that it’s edible) and an authority in weights and measures, like a surveyor (to prove that it is the size we say it is). Anyone interested, or interested in volunteering a friend or loved one? It will only take a few hours, and will undoubtedly be enormous fun.

The plan is to have a team of mixers (30 to 60 people — I’m recruiting for those, too, if anyone wants to volunteer) mixing batter at the same time. Pour the batter into the giant tin, bake the cupcake, then transport it to Bread Milk and Honey. Once it arrives, ice it with green icing and decorate.

Then slice into one million slices (or a close approximation) and sell the slices for a small fee. All the money raised goes to charity.

Here’s what I’m envisioning, though … Bread Milk and Honey is right next to Church Square in town, so I’m seeing a square full of happy giant-cupcake-eaters, high on sugar, happily munching away on a Guinness World Record.

Sounds magic, doesn’t it?

Come join me!