Highveld Stereo’s Darren “Wackhead” Simpson’s prank call to ANCYL president Julius Malema is all the proof that we will ever need that the Youth League leader has clearly been wasted on local politics. The time has surely come for him to be sent to Paris or Rome … or anywhere.
Not since Grace “Raging Bull” Mugabe totalled a photographer from the Times of London has Africa been able to show that, when it comes to diplomacy, Africa is up there with the very best that the planet has to offer. Yet here was Malema with the ease of an elephant on uppers trying to thread cotton through the eye of a needle, trading banter with the “leader of the free world”.
Before I catch any of you lot sniggering I would like to point out that the ANCYL president was trying — he’s very trying — to uphold the dignity of his office while chewing gum at the same time. Clearly the bubble that he was trying to blow when the call came through totally threw him off track.
In fairness maybe Malema didn’t know who “Obama” was. What would you do if you thought that “Brak” Obama, probably one of Peter Marais buddies from Cope in the Western Cape, was trying to trick you into saying something wrong? Worse, that this was probably some devious member of the ANCYL who was trying to run for president trying to catch you out. Wouldn’t you also slam the phone down on them?
How quickly people forget that Obama has only been president for one day. How is Malema supposed to know who he is so early on? It was an honest mistake that could have happened to anyone. I’m sure that on hearing the tape the NEC will call him in and say: “Julius act like a man … on second thoughts act like another man”.
Perhaps the ANC can assist Malema by giving him a speaking double who can answer his cellphone — someone like Gordon Strachan, the Glasgow Celtic Football Club manager. There is not a man, woman or child alive today, not even Strachan’s mother, who can claim to understand a word he’s on about. The call would then have gone something like this:
“Mr Malema?”
“Aye”
“Good to meet you sir and thank you for all the great work you’re doing.”
“Och awa’ i’ no’ li’ I ha’ ter carry on wi’ the … garbled … si’gulls chasin’ a tr’wler … ho ho ho … I’d be ca’ed a Scottish bum.”
“Thank you for your time”.
“Bye”.
Who knows, they might even sign Malema up as an after dinner speaker for bulimics.
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