Nursery rhymes for the Zuma presidency

We did them for President Mbeki so it’s only right.

Three blind mice/doctors

Three blind docs, three blind docs,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after a charming life,
But couldn’t cut with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As medical parole?

Humpty Dumpty (with apology to the BBC)

Humpty Dumpty crashed into a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the best counsel, And even a racist claim
Couldn’t turn Scotch back into tea again!

(shame)

This little piggy

This little piggy bought a Beamer,
This little piggy stayed with Merc,
This little piggy had two cars,
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy went…
“Wee wee wee” you don’t have to give
them back it’s within regulations…

Hush a bye baby

Hush a bye baby, on the tree top,
You never chose Santana, it was those other flops;
When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, to help choose again.

Little Jack Horner

Little Jack Commissioner sat in the corner
Going through his hotel bill,
He put in his hand and pulled out an expenses claim form
And said “There’s going to be huge shit for this one”

Hickory dickory dock

Hickory dickory dock
Zille’s gone and jabbed her clock
The clock stuck once
And left no bounce
Must be some sort of Botox block

Horsey horsey

Horsey horsey don’t you stop
Just let your feet go clippetty clop
The tail goes swish and the wheels go round
Wat die fok! Eugene Ney’s al weer on the ground

Rain Rain go Away

Hlophe Hlophe go Away

Ring-a-Ring o’Rosies

Ring-a-Ring o’Rosies
A Pocket full of Posies
“A-tishoo! A-tishoo!”
We all fall Down!

The health ministry has confirmed
that unfortunately due to motor vehicle
and hotel expenses the kids will have to
stay down. The minister did point out
that the expenses were all within the
recognized regulations.

Film around your bath at 11h00

Mary Mary quite contrary

Malema Malema quite contrary,
How does your house-warming party go?
With sirens, bells and cops’ shells
And I even gave them notice.

Sing a song of sixpence

Sing a song of stukkend a punim gone awry,
Four and twenty Botox will do that every shy.
When the punim was op’d on the docs began to sing (whistle is closer),
Oh wasn’t that a wooden face to set before the king?
Malema was at his house warming counting all the bodies,
Helen was in her parlour eating herself up alive…but I digress
Doctor was in the garden feeling like a jerk until…
“Euraka, I know! Julius will fix it he’s brilliant at woodwork!”
When down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose!

(Well it would)