Niehaus, Bennett and the birth of Malemaisms

The ANC’s confirmation that spokesperson Carl Niehaus will not be abandoned despite the revelations made in this weeks Mail & Guardian is, in my humble opinion, highly commendable. Instead of taking the path expedient and getting rid of him they have opted to recognise a lifelong contribution and face the invariable slings and arrows that will be coming their way. The only major problem that I have with the way in which he has been employed is that, despite purportedly being aware of his fraudulent conduct and unsustainable lifestyle, they elected to use him as party spokesperson.

Niehaus is, and clearly was, under enormous strain from his personal problems and throwing him head-first into the build-up to the election battlefield was at best risky and at worst — as it is proving — calamitous. The danger of him collapsing under the weight of his past transgressions was clear and present when he was given his high profile position, yet seemingly insufficient regard was paid or given to risk assessment.

Niehaus, if the truth ever came to light, would be one of the most recognisable names and identifiable faces in the ANC camp. As such, and in view of them purportedly having prior knowledge of his problems, they ran the risk of having a media frenzy and substantial collateral damage if this was ever exposed. As things now stand, and this is just the start, calls for audits, criminal charges and investigations into who knew what and the actions that they took in light of their knowledge are gathering pace.

Accordingly, while I applaud the kindness and compassion shown — and I mean that with all sincerity — party considerations should have come first.

In light of this further example the ANC must come to realise that their position on the arms deal investigation and sticking to their guns on Jacob Zuma’s candidacy for president have to be reassessed. In terms of all three instances individual considerations are far outweighing the overall well being of the party and in the long run it will do neither the individuals concerned nor the party any favours.

Moving north, the latest episode of “Daze of our lives” or the Zimbabwean political minefield, is the arrest of Roy Bennett, (MDC) who is due to become Deputy Agriculture Minister, on charges of treason (what else?) at a small Harare airport. The ink on the 19th Amendment has hardly even begun to dry and the Government of National Immunity (from prosecution) is off on its usual tangents.

There are seven million people at risk of starving. Could the UN, AU, SADC or even the SPCA get in touch with these morons and explain to them that they are in the world spotlight right now and, as always, are embarrassing themselves and the rest of the region. While they’re at it, tell them that the human rights activists and Bennett better be released pronto or Cosatu will come and march to their houses.

Last, but definitely not least, I want to look at South Africans favourite hobby Malemaisms. Love him or hate him, the ANCYL president Julius Malema is big news. The fact that the media are watching every word he says is because you lot, through your clicks, have shown that you cannot get enough of him. In most cases it’s to find out what his latest untimely bombshell is. Usually something that is either insulting or an embarrassment to the entire ANC.

Here’s the bad news guys: While the world media is mourning the recent loss of their regular Bushisms, South Africans will be outraged and damned if they’ll allow Malema to be sacked or gagged. I mean what is the point of logging on if we are to be deprived of our regular installment of Lost — and let’s face it, Malema might not be on an island following a plane crash (appealing as this might be to Minister Pandor right now) but he has clearly lost the odd marble or two.

It is not what he says that is so funny but the way he says it. Just to use the blow-up with IFP leader Mangosuthu Buthelezi as our example. In this instance Malema was clearly in the right because the IFP had threatened the ANC by warning them of dire consequences if they canvassed in certain areas. Had Malema said that one of the most basic principles of a free democracy is the right to campaign wherever and whenever they want he would have been absolutely right. But he didn’t, he said (I’ve got tears while I’m typing this) :

“We will go back to Nongoma,” said Malema.

“No amount of intimidation will stop us, not even [Mangosuthu] Buthelezi.

“We will campaign even in his back yard or his house and recruit his children to join the ANC.”

Dear oh dear oh dear

If any of you read Asterix comics, the story about the ferocious Gauls who resist the Roman Empire in 50BC — you’ll recall the only thing that they fear (besides the sky falling on their heads) is their bard (lyric poet) Cacophonix. This geezer sings so badly that every time their village has a banquet they tie him up and gag him. I wonder how long it will be before the ANC adopt similar measures.