Mazeltov it’s a Berbatov

What a bowl of cock-custard we have to put up with every time Manchester United are involved in a transfer deal. In fact it’s gotten so bad you can’t read a British newspaper unless you’ve swallowed a goodly amount of Valoid, just in case you stumble across their latest misadventure.

FFS as if it’s not bad enough that we have to put up with biased referees at Old Trafford, now this. (In case you aren’t aware Section 17bis of the Premiership Rules reads: “No referee shall officiate at Old Trafford again in the event of him failing to award the prescribed Manure penalty and sending off an opposition player”.)

If you think that’s bad how about the commentators?

“United (cost 345 789 909 098.76 UKP), majestic as they destroy a bemused Hull City (cost 0.89 pence) what a fabulous manager Sir Alex truly is. That little blip against Newcastle (cost 16.99UKP) last Sunday will soon be forgotten.” And if they don’t drool all over Manure they don’t get invited back trust me.

They should have me on commentary:

“Van der Saar what a great keeper, crappy behind defences costing less than the budget of most Third World countries but sound enough here, lays it out to Rio Ferdinand possible winner of this year’s ugliest defender competition who it turns lays it off to Cristiano Ronaldo, only member of the Portugese Olympic Team to win a gold medal in Beijing in the diving competition … top stuff eh Andy Gray?”

“Och … er aye I w’ldnee sey i’ wi twere eek oot ha ha ha but thas ho’ i’ goes” (Don’t ask me; that’s how he speaks.)

Speaking of Ronaldo remember the crap we had to put up with when Sir Alex turned down his move to Real Madrid?

Shame! Widdle diddums couldn’t get his own way so when FIFA President Sceptic Bladder compared him to a modern day slave this stupid tosser was all over it like a bad rash.

“Yeth pwethithely! Ith tho hard being a modewn day footballer what with having to run around all day unleth they twip me thenth I thtop wunning and woll all over de gwound!”

FFS, buy a Greyhound. At least you can cuddle up to it after racing.

I even did a “Diary of a modern day slave” for this plonker:

www.sportsleader.co.za/traps/2008/07/14/cristiano-ronaldo-diary-of-a-slave/

Twat!

Now we have another genius at Spurs who wants to join Sir Alex and the pampered pussycats at Old Trafford. Dimitar Berbatov was so upset that his move hadn’t gone through yet that Tottenham manager Juande Ramos had to leave him out because he was “psychologically unfit to play”.

Well, that’s alright then, he should fit right in with the rest of those psychologically unfit morons right away. Why in no time he’ll be surrounding referees, rolling on the ground clutching the wrong ankle before it’s home for tea and biscuits.

Tosser!