Mahlangu-Nkabinde downs the chalice and burps contentedly

Alas, like many things nowadays, poisoned chalices aren’t what they used to be. Once upon a time it used to be that the recipient of the alluringly bejewelled goblet would take one sip and drop dead.

Nowadays, the partakers seem curiously invigorated — “Rattex, the drink that refreshes!” — if one is to deduce anything from the peculiar behaviour of Public Works Minister Gwen Mahlangu-Nkabinde.

A fortnight ago Mahlangu-Nkabinde called a press conference to announce that since taking office 10 months ago, she had discovered that she had been “handed a poisoned chalice”: a department riddled with corruption and sabotage. Funnily enough, she had somehow neglected to mention this earlier in June when trying to justify her department’s failures to the parliamentary oversight committee.

In clearly a pre-emptive move to save her well-upholstered butt, Mahlangu-Nkabinde now explained that she had been “let down” and “lied to and deceived”. Given this “inherited situation”, during which “at least” R3-billion worth of improper tenders were awarded, “it would be unrealistic to expect that the department will be given a clean bill of health by the Auditor-General”.

And, verily, so it has come to pass. On Monday it was announced that the Auditor-General Terence Nombembe had found the department couldn’t account for more than R2.1-billion worth of goods, services and capital expenditure during the past financial year.

To spice up this toxic cocktail, there were also material losses of R54.8-million, irregular expenditure of R16.5-million — an understated amount, in the opinion of the Auditor-General — and R5-million of legal claims that the department had tried to hide.

Oh and R115-million of previously unstated lease commitments, which the Auditor-General was unable to verify. In fact, the department is in such a shambles that the Auditor-General was ‘unable to obtain sufficient appropriate audit evidence to provide a basis for an audit opinion’.

In short, a noxious concoction of corruption and incompetence but not enough to dent the hide of Mahlangu-Nkabinde, who clearly has the constitution of an ox. The ethical sensibilities of one too. While the minister responsible would be forced to resign in most democracies, Mahlangu-Nkabinde puts a cheerful face on things: “All I can promise South Africa is that we will sort this mess out and turn the department around. That is my job and I will fulfill it.”

Let’s not forget there are also the controversial R1.78-billion of illegal leases that the department entered into, to provide the police with new headquarters, which Mahlangu-Nkabinde absent-mindedly fails to mention in her foreword to the department’s report. Although signed by her predecessor Geoff Doidge, he at least halted the process when warned that the leases were illegal.

Not only did Mahlangu-Nkabinde insist on reinstating the leases — she has now gone to court to have them declared invalid, following the scathing findings of the Public Protector regarding the “illegal and irregular” contracts, as well as her lack of cooperation with the subsequent inquiry — but she also fired the Director-General who resisted the reinstatement.

The Auditor-General’s damning report means that the department has added at least R4-billion to the R30-billion that the national planning ministry estimates is wasted or stolen every year. That R4-billion is equivalent to 57 000 fully-serviced RDP houses or wiping out a quarter of the country’s road infrastructure backlog.

Handed the Mahlangu-Nkabinde hot potato by the Public Protector, President Jacob Zuma has been doing what he does best — juggling it from hand to hand while dancing on the spot. Now the Auditor-General has tossed him another scalding spud.

Even in the classics, a poisoned chalice does not always suffice to dispose of the hapless heroine. Juliet, of Capulet fame, sipped at the tainted chalice, swooned, but did not die. It was when she recovered to find Romeo dead beside her that she stabbed herself in the heart.

Maybe the minister will yet ease the president’s pain and indecision, and fall on her political sword. Now that would be a fairytale ending.