Jacques Rogge, chairman of the International Olympic Committee, made a total twat out of himself by suggesting that Jamaica’s Usain Bolt, a triple gold-medal winner, should tone down his celebrations out of courtesy to fellow competitors.

Apparently this genius finds the post-race antics of the winner of the 100m, 200m and relay sprints, all in world-record times, offensive.

He’s lucky I’m not Bolt.

If I were whupping the rest of the field in the same way that Bolt was, I’d be obnoxious. As I got the finishing line I’d turn to Asafa Powell and tell him: “Yo, Asafa, I said let’s finish this off so we can go and watch Rocky VI, I’ve already seen it, I can’t stand here all day waiting for you to get here. Next time I’ll walk so you can keep up!”

Worse, I’d ask Walter Dix and Darvis Patton, the US finalists: “Guys, what time do your sprinters get here?”

Dear, oh dear, oh dear!

When Rogge started crapping all over me, I’d tell him that I was sorry but I could’t hear him because I walked slightly faster than the speed of sound.

Prat!

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Michael Trapido

Michael Trapido

Mike Trapido is a criminal attorney and publicist having also worked as an editor and journalist. He was born in Johannesburg and attended HA Jack and Highlands North High Schools. He married Robyn...

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