Ian Botham is the man from W.H.I.N.E

There is nothing quite like the whingeing Poms when it comes to cricket. Commander-in-chief? Saint Beefy of Ignatius:

DON’T JABBER BEEFY JUST WOCKY

(Apology to Lewis Carroll)

‘Twas brillig, and this Limey toad
Did cry and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy ’twere for Cook had got an iffy call,
And the moan and wrath outrage.

“Beware the Jabber just wock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Bastard De Villers claimed one and shun
The furious Beefy snarl!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the prozac foe he fought —
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And bought a snickers bar.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
St Beefy of Ignatius, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came! (Snickers bar had a “best before the Jurassic Period” sticker which he ignored)

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“And, has thou slain the Jabber who won’t wock?
Come to my arms, Hashim my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
We stiffed ’em again this day.

`Twas brillig, and the Limey toad
Did cry and gimble in the wabe;
All Cook and Amla were the borogoves,
But Strauss was a fair call.

You gotta admit there is nothing nicer than beating the Poms 2-1 on iffy calls. Our Cook and Amla bonuses plays their Strauss. As it turned out Morne Morkel and Dale Steyn put their geniuses to the sword. 203 all out. Only Kevin “bloody” Pietersen weighing in with 45.

South Africa’s top order wobbled then steadied as Ashwell Prince and Hashim Amla saw the Proteas home at 103-3 at stumps. Day 1 to the men from Africa South.

Won’t those Poms be miffed about the Amla decision!

It’s good to be aloive folks (Eccles — Goon Show)