Human race will split into two species -- the Robert Mugabe story

A hundred thousand years from now, or so a top scientist claims, the human race will split into two separate species. The one group will comprise smart, attractive and ready-to-rule geniuses; the other will be ugly, dim-witted goblin-like creatures.

What a load of bollocks, I thought after reading the article. But then it hit me (Mrs Traps, I’d forgotten to record Big Brother — what will her spawn resemble 100 000 years from … wait, she’s coming …): what about all the geniuses like Tony Spreadsbury? I mean, the man can’t make the correct decision as a TMO?

What about Bobby Mugabe? I mean there’s no fuelling him!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/ africa/article2748936.ece

What do you think this genius’s descendants will be doing this Friday, 100 000 years from now? Probably still trying to tap petrol from a rock?

How about the morons who decided to scrap the Soweto leg of the Springbok victory tour? Then, after being bombarded with tags like “worst public-relations debacle in history”, they reinstated it, without telling the residents to rock up at the crack of dawn. Bet they’ll be churning out goblins like flies.

Then, lest we forget, there are the members of the strategic forward-planning committee of Eskom (don’t confuse them with the real geniuses who think up the reasons why the national grid pops its cork each week — those guys will rule the world). They are the ones who bought a hat and sit around at lunch time going “Soweto East, Houghton, Lombardy …” as they draw names for the lucky recipients of the pull-the-plug-for-the-day award. In the year 102207 there will be gnome-like phantoms running around wearing Eskom T-shirts, having just learned to walk erect that day and in a perpetual search for the secret of fire.

Cast members of the Peter Pan pantomime to be performed at the Civic Theatre, who have decided to use a live crocodile, need not concern themselves with events beyond 2007. Don’t buy any long-playing records, guys.

I’m sure that if any of “Duck” Cheney’s lot are still around they’ll be blowing holes in their hunting partners — that is, if they have the time, what with so many countries they still haven’t invaded yet. Sort of goblin up the world, one country at a time.

Then, of course, we have the guys from the SABS who test the condoms before allowing them to be released to the public. These tests include some of the most advanced technology in the world, provided that “test” shall also include payment of the sum of R4 500 to the lab tester whose results, while not in keeping with SABS standards, are nevertheless highly acceptable to him. He should be worth half-a-million goblins all on his lonesome.

Some things will never change, not even 100 000 years from now. Regardless of whether they are goblins or not, the Gauteng Lions will still be trying, unsuccessfully, to win the Currie Cup.

Shame!