I was busy lighting up a soy burger when I noticed an article in the Tonight which said that my all-time favourite radio host/presenter/DJ — whichever they prefer to be called — Jeremy Mansfield (Mannesfield) had no sooner returned home from a holiday in the Seychelles when he was diagnosed as having a serious medical condition. Worse, just like me, he went in with them thinking it was one thing, meningitis or some other viral condition, only to be informed that it was in fact chronic lymphocytic leukemia.
When I went to visit my doctor at a clinic on April 1 2009 I was under the impression that my hernia had somehow ruptured and that I would need a stronger medication. Twenty minutes later I was hospitalised, hooked up to oxygen and on a drip after being advised that I’d suffered a heart attack.
Up until they actually told me I had no idea that this was the cause of my discomfort. It genuinely did not even cross my mind.
Trust me then when I tell you that something like this gives you a big shock and, as I’m sure Jeremy is finding out, takes quite a bit of time to sink in. In my case we had a further problem: my son and the government (Mrs Traps) were trying to contact people all over the place to rearrange meetings but because I am normally in the habit of pulling people’s legs, everyone was advising them that this was not a very funny April Fool’s joke. Imagine having to first convince people that you really aren’t trying to be funny before they will take anything else you have to tell them seriously? Each call becomes a mission in itself and apparently wasn’t very funny at the time.
Anyhow, two stents and a total lifestyle change later I emerged from hospital with conclusive proof that there is no such thing as hell after death. Hell is in fact continuing to live on Earth but with the lifestyle changes that those Nazi doctors prescribe.
In Jeremy’s case, beside the treatment and diet he will have to follow, he also has to give up alcohol and smoking.
In my case the cardiologist was more understanding:
“Let me see now…yes smoking will have to go of course, alcohol is a non-starter, any food that tastes good is automatically disqualified, no sex if you can help it and basically live on soy with carrot juice…that ought to do it. Do you understand Mr Trapido?”
“I think so…you are Satan’s little helper and it would be best if you neutered me and if I still have any will to live after that it’s best that you have me put down?”
“Close enough.”
Then the reality finally sinks in and you realise that you can no longer eat, drink or smoke anything, which means that even though you start to look healthier that doesn’t help you because even if any women were to come near you, you daren’t come onto them in case it kills you!
And the government is not helping either with: “You’ll eat your soy and like it.”
I’m forced to eat it but I’ll be damned if I have to like it.
Mind you I take my hat off to Jeremy with the positive way that he is going about all this. He says that he won’t be letting this get him down, he’ll just carry on working and moving ahead because that’s how it’s always been and that’s how it will always be.
Anyone who listens to the Rude Awakening will know that Mansfield is that character. Someone who has always had the courage of his convictions, is larger than life and willing to share the spotlight with the rest of the breakfast team on 94.7 Highveld Stereo. Someone who has provided fabulous entertainment while building Sam Cowan, Wackhead Simpson, Graham Joffe and the many other stars into household names.
As someone who has felt the shock of first having an illness and then being required to rearrange your whole life to deal with it I have enormous empathy with what Jeremy is going through right now.
As my early Christmas wish I hope that he enjoys full remission and lives a long and full life in order that he keep bringing us his wonderful sense of humour and exceptional shows.
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