Derby County: In the name of the father, the son and the holy Clough

Any Derby County fan older than five years of age will know the significance of the appointment of the boy Clough as the manager of the Rams — the messiah has come. (NB ANC members need not panic this is not a reference to the one referred to by ANC president Jacob Zuma when he said the ANC will rule until the Messiah comes.)

Indeed it was the father Brian Clough, undoubtedly the greatest English manager of all time, who made first Derby and later N*tts (I know, I know) F*rest league champions of England and then in the case of Derby took them to the semi-finals of the European Cup and won that cup twice with that unmentionable red mob. Sort of like Manchester United but unlike Sir Alex Ferguson he did it without any money. When Ferguson can achieve the same results with Preston and Burnley he’ll be fit to lace Cloughie senior’s boots. Until then we can weigh up his record against the 7-trillion 800-billion pounds and nine pence he has spent on players.

Of course Cloughie senior was also denied the assistance of the F.A rule, which says: “A referee shall, as soon as Sir Alex starts chewing his gum, immediately award United a penalty and send off an opposition player”.

Anyhow, after his appointment from Hartlepool, Brian Clough went on to take an unfashionable club to champions of England and to great European heights. How we adored him! Yes, he was arrogant, getting up all the toffee noses and tearing up all the form books as the Rams went marching on.

Then Sam Longson, the greatest moron ever to be appointed chairman of a football club, sacked him! The genius figured … that, with two strong personalities clashing at our club, one would have to go. FFS, if he would only have asked the fans, they’d have had Longson packed, out of the club and on his way to Helmand Province-On-The-Wold before he’d had time to ask “Who d’you think should leave?”

Years later, when Brian sadly passed on, the Ram’s memorial service had to be held at Pride Park because too many fans wanted to attend to hold it elsewhere.

Bet Ol’ Bighead is smiling down on Pride Park today.

Son Nigel of course played for um … cough … er … them (N*tts).

Like dad, he then turned his hand to management and proved his worth outside the Football League with another local club, Burton Albion. Many of us keep an eye out for Burton’s results as a second team. Cloughie junior has left them top of the league and, fingers crossed, on their way to the Football League.

As for Nigel, his mandate is primarily to take over the squad left by Paul Jewell and turn it around. Chairman of Football Adam Pearson correctly sees knowledge of the division as one of but not the most important factor in appointing a manager. Cloughie knows the club has a great love for the people of the area and the football team that is Derby County. His man-management skills vital after the problems experienced under Paul Jewell.

Will he be a success?

We can only hope and pray, but one thing is certain — a Clough is back at the helm of Derby County.

Fabulous!!