Dear Steve, praat sense of hou jou bek

Unlike you, I struggle to take things lying down. Your dramatic pamphlet is problematic. I’ll elaborate.

Firstly, when you need album sales, you become as Afrikaans as you can, then when it suits, you cling to these imagined roots. Last time I checked, yours were blond, big guy. So don’t go double-crossing that bridge, the past is behind us for as long as quantum physics wants it to be.

Europe may have given us some food for thought, but it also gave us the Inquisition, slavery, price-fixing, market manipulation, child prostitution and legitimised drug addiction — no one is innocent. Your tribe sacrificed a third of itself? I think you should ask Verimark if they need an infomercial writer, guy. That is primo drama la merde.

Secondly, when did you become an authority on humanity? Steve, you’re are the people’s pop tart, friend, and a good one. You made music to fulfil your dreams — namely wealth, fame and clearly as much sex as one can cram into a small life (and a google of none-the-wiser platteland vaginas). Hardly the stuff Bikos are made of, is it? He died for his belief, you wore a crash helmet in a car park instead of a condom, dude — let’s keep it real.

If this is insulting, keep swallowing, while we re-introduce reality back into nature. Why not leave the rhetoric to apt primates and stay with verse-chorus-verse, an appropriate format when singing to the choir?

Your critique of Africa’s failure to produce philosophy reminds me of Galileo and the church — “just because I can’t see it must mean it isn’t there” — it’s a big world, Stevie, and most of it is beyond the naked eye … you didn’t mention Ubuntu … is the concept not right up there with the best of Eastern spirituality?

Just because the practitioners are flawed, do we throw it out like unplanned babies with the mineral water? Are you aware that Africa doesn’t have a written tradition of knowledge? Did you know that they burned witches by the millions in Europe not so long ago? Or that in the 1940s “intellectual” Westerners eradicated 8 million Jews under the guidance of a lunatic? Were you aware of the genocides in Yugoslavia even more recently? Do you have the guts to admit that you flaw-fathers had a dark streak?

People are suggesting that you should lead your people, the sadness is that, looking at the outfits and the spit on their chins — maybe they are right — you seem to be heading to that level — and you seem to be breeding your own jungvolk anyway.

I know you are cross, we all get cross — but don’t go tossing your toys into the khaki abyss — your bratz may come back goose-stepping, china.

Next time you’re going to speak your mind, be sure you have enough material to work with.