Press "Enter" to skip to content
John Vlismas

Posts published by “John Vlismas”

You can follow John on Twitter if you like @fortyshort.
John Vlismas is an increasingly reclusive former hell-raising coke fiend and fall-down drunk. Now a scuba teacher and far better father; he is an award-winning anti-socialite, has played The Royal Albert Hall and has been described as "blunt" but also as "sharp". He has little regard for team sports and his name is very often mispronounced. He is also the co-owner of a company called "Whacked", which does good things for local comedy.

Dear Whitey

I hope you are well. Even though I’m sure you are not really interested, I am fine. I know that you are not too concerned…

Dear god-complex

Dear god-complex That’s right, I’m talking to you — not big G — that’s different. I wouldn’t talk to God in words, because I don’t…

Happy Black Tuesday

Dear State Happy Black Tuesday. I am writing this letter to you while I am still free to do so. I am also doing so…

Waiting for Gusto

Since first we dragged our wet, half-baked selves from the primordial soup — limp croutons tired of swimming — and pulled air into our hard-won…

Dear SuperSport executive

My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. I do hope you manage some sleep. Try to eat something and don’t allow yourself to…

Shame on US

It’s been weeks since Americans poured onto the streets, crowing and cheering. At last, their nemesis’s blood spilled, they exhale. A man in a blanket,…