General

So the Springboks have an end of season Grand Slam tour scheduled. Very tempting to knock over Ireland, Wales, Scotland and England — (throw in a game against the Barbarians for good measure) — on consecutive weekends after a full Tri Nations and a looming World Cup? Not! Simple solution: send the B team. So […]

On February 2 1990 ,the last president of the repressive nationalist regime FW de Klerk stood before parliament and made this important and long overdue announcement: “I wish to put it plainly that the government has taken a firm decision to release Mr Mandela unconditionally.” The announcement of the release of Mandela marked a crucial […]

South African rugby enjoyed a great season in 2009, with the Springboks beating the British Lions, clean sweeping the All Blacks on the way to Vodacom Tri-Nations glory (including both the Freedom Cup and Mandela Plate) and the Springboks Sevens team claiming their first IRB World Sevens Series title. These titles, plus the Vodacom Bulls’ […]

The recent lamentations about the “lost soul of the ANC” reads like something from penultimate instalments of the Harry Potter series. The Dark Lord, which in the ANC, some claim, appears to be Mammon, has split the soul of the organisation. Subsequently various little splinter groups have emerged in possession of the true soul and […]

Of all the crazy things I’ve heard since JZ came into power, this is one of the worst. The idea that the media and the public (yes readers, you and me) should not say anything critical of Jacob Zuma because he’s the president is a slap in the face of our already colander-like democracy. Enough […]

Of ten women interviewed in Kenya for a television documentary, the majority of them would rather contract HIV than fall pregnant. Despite being openly promiscuous, and or regularly having unprotected sex, they say that they trust the men that they sleep with. They regularly use the morning after pill (MAP) to avoid becoming pregnant, and […]

Julius Malema said that President Jacob Zuma is “our father”, I must admit, I half expected him to complete the statement by saying “who art in heaven”. Let’s face it, the president has never done anything wrong in the history of his existence according to the Youth League and the ANC. St Zuma is saintlier […]

Three months before he was voted in as president, Zuma took out his machine gun and slipped a ball through Irvin Khoza’s legs. In most countries, this would be called “infidelity”, in South Africa it’s called shibobo. No wonder we’re such poor footballers. The knives are predictably out, not for a c-section, but for Zuma’s […]

The Lothario from Inkandla is reported to have struck again! This time he has “allegedly” — in his friend’s backyard — seduced a relatively young lady from Soweto and left her toothless father fuming at such blatant betrayal. I choose to use the word “allegedly” very reluctantly because nothing that has been reported seems out […]

There’s a girl in the tourist office dressed in a tight pink frilly uniform. She’s 21 years old and having a busy day in Orania. Her father John is one of the town’s official tour guides and he’s set to show us the pecan-shelling factory, the bottle store, The Koeksister Monument, Orania’s private radio station […]

Yup, Valentine’s Day is coming up again this month, that rip-off of monumental proportions only eclipsed by that fat-guy-in-a-red-bodysuit scam that comes conveniently around bonus time. Am I the only person who worries that being a Santa Clause in a mall would be the sweetest gig for a paedophile? Excuse the pun, but it must […]

So now England may be in the market for a new captain. Since John Terry’s Tiger-esque demise — in the space of one weekend, the entire Soccer World Cup campaign has apparently been jeopardised because Wayne Bridge can’t stand to be in the same room as Terry. Well, what to do, what to do? Clearly, […]