Barely weeks after the English media were telephoning vets across England to ascertain the price of having their coach spayed comes the heartwarming story of the English RFU’s decision to extend his contract.
Wonderful news, which means I can now throw away my copy of Dr Alan Cresswell’s report. The vet from Bath was waffling on about “and if the neutering doesn’t work, we’ll have him put down”.
Now Sir Brian (if they win it) or the late Brian Ashton (if they lose), can sit back and plot the final, safe in the knowledge that as long as he wins he’s away.
I’m happy for Brian, particularly as I’ve seen his tactics — brilliant!
England’s World Cup final strategy
1. Pass it to Wilkinson, who kicks.
That’s as far as he’s got, but I’m sure the rest will be a riveting read.
English press
I loved Stephen Jones’s (Times of London) article in the Sunday Times; the one where he lambastes the All Blacks as legends in their own minds — not fit to lace the boots of the powers from the northern hemisphere.
These were his articles after the Bokke thrashed England:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/ stephen_jones/article2461054.ece
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/ rugby/article2461059.ece
I’m not saying Stephen has foot-in-mouth disease — just that the only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.
Pathetic!
This geezer owes the England team a huge apology, and if I might be so bold is the crappiest rugby analyst I’ve encountered so far. A legend in his own mind.
His snide remarks regarding a columnist on the New Zealand Herald are unfortunate considering the personal attacks Jones made on the England team.
He expressed serious doubts about Brian Ashton’s ability to coach a national team.
Perhaps a few apologies are in order.
Jake White and other Bokke on TV
I feel the time has come to speak out against Juan, Bakkies and the rest of the team.
As we all know, the one thing that Englishmen and other foreigners expect of Sarf Effricans, when they’re being interviewed, is that they butcher the English language and come up with classic quotes.
I mean, it’s bad enough that Jake and John speak English as it is.
Guys, you cannot classify yourselves as ambassadors unless you swap to Afrikaans-English for press conferences and interviews. For Jake’s next press conference we expect the following:
Question: Are England the favourites?
Jake: Natuurlik ja! Because why? Because why theyse been preffelant at Wêreldbeker Eindstryde and wif dis knowledge and dis experiunce dey can pass it to Jonny an’ he can skop it?
Question: Jake, I’m sorry, I’m from the London Times. Could you just repeat that in English?
Jake: Goeie genade! Sir, are you taking me wif a piss. I is just said in Engels that Engeland are de gunstelinge because why, because why mos’ of dem has blerry played in a eindstryd before. Are you funning me wif your quessuns?
Question: My sincere apologies. I really cannot understand what you’re trying to say. Perhaps the captain — John, could you assist us?
John: Ja — Jake said pass it to Jonny and let him kick.
English press: Of course, makes sense, I thought he said that …
TMO
I would also like to ask readers to have a bit of patience with Sunday’s TMO, Tony Spreadsbury.
It wasn’t his fault that he got the decision wrong; rugby’s just not his field.
Perhaps therapy — cut and paste with scissors and glue is always helpful.
How anyone could have allowed English officials to oversee a game where England were desperate to see the Springboks lose is beyond me.
Best chirp
Funniest thing I’ve read so far is the guy who said that there is a playoff for fifth and sixth place — it’s called the Bledisloe Cup.
A prince with dignity and determination
Prince Ngarambe’s goals are to become Rwanda’s first transgender model and to uplift the country’s youth
The EFF’s principles are unshakeable
Unlike the ANC, the core values of the freedom fighters do not change with each leader it elects
