Michael Trapido

Great moments in ANCYL auditing we’d like to see

“The new ANC Youth League under Julius Malema wants to wrestle control of the R120-million investment company away from ‘old comrades’ who became ‘millionaires’ in the name of the young people,” reports IOL. Apparently the ANCYL were furious when they were advised that “wrestle”, in this context, did not actually mean physically mutilating the old…

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ANC Lite

With the resignation of president Thabo Mbeki, following intense pressure from elements within the ANC, ANCYL, Cosatu and the SACP, speculation has grown about the possibility of a party split. Ministers and others loyal to the former president are believed to be weighing up their options pursuant to their misgivings about the current direction of…

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Julius Malema and other bloggers we’d like to see

Robert Mugabe Hi, I’m Bob, I am in my late middle ages, which is exactly how I run my country, like the Late Middle Ages. A great famine followed by a bubonic plague-like population reduction. But enough about history, let’s talk about me. As I’m being forced to enter into power sharing I figured that…

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Kgalema Motlanthe: great speeches we’d like to see

One of the columnists I really love reading is the Mail & Guardian’s Guy Berger. At least with him you are guaranteed not to land up with same old, same old and this week’s column, entitled “Kgalema vs Thabo: Workmanship in wordsmithing”, is no exception. www.mg.co.za/article/2008-10-02-kgalema-vs-thabo-workmanship-in-wordsmithing Of course all of us are, to a lesser…

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USS Theodore Roosevelt: one of our aircraft carriers is missing

I can just imagine those Capetonians when the USS Theodore Roosevelt, a massive aircraft carrier, docks in Table Bay on Friday. “Like shwow bru, I’m so happy with that shit I scored in Sea Point last night hey! It’s amazing; this morning when I woke up it looked like the mountain was in the bay…

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Mshini Wami 5: a new plan for the Scorpions

The ANC are adamant that the Scorpions have to be incorporated into the SAPS as a brand new unit, which will be headed by a deputy national police commissioner and report to the minister of safety and security. In addition they will not be allowed any independent criminal intelligence capability just to make absolutely sure…

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ANC name changes for motor vehicles

Seeing as though we are renaming everything from hospitals to streets after greats from the past, the time has come for car manufacturers to be brought into line as well. Henceforth models will have to be named after current political giants and include features which are a tribute to the characters after whom they are…

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ANCYL political language explained

In light of the forthcoming election I have decided to do another in the series of our ‘lost in translation’ exercises. Today’s tutorial covers language used by the African National Congress Youth League, which may be confusing the electorate. “Die for Zuma” means “Could I have a cabinet post with an office that is sea…

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Saru must come clean on De Villers ‘blackmail’ episode

When it comes to the new South Africa, Saru generally do the right thing. On issues of transformation, racism and policy, they can be relied upon for transparency and integrity while following clearly defined strategies. However when it comes to the issue of Peter de Villiers and the purported blackmail saga, they are not doing…

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Fall of the Lehman Wall and the US as hyperpower?

When Mikhail Gorbachev became ruler of the USSR in March of 1985 he was acutely aware of the fact that the Soviet economy had failed to post positive growth for just on a decade. His introduction of firstly “Perestroika”, economic restructuring, and later “Glasnost”, an element of political freedom, could not, however, ward off the…

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