A few months ago I wrote a piece titled “The Oros Man” in which I detailed the pressures and inhumanities to which fat people are subjected in order to fit in the corporate workplace. In that particular piece I used the illustrious year-end office function as a tool to illustrate my point of view on […]
The Sumo
The Sumo is a strapping young man in his late 20s who considers himself the ultimate transitional South African. Born and raised in a KwaZulu-Natal township near Durban, he was part of the first group of black initiates into the "multiracial" education system. He was (and is) always in contrast to the norm, black in "white" schools, a blazer-wearing coconut in the township streets, and now fat in a sea of conventional thinness in the corporate world. This, and a lifetime of junk-food consumption and beer guzzling, has culminated in the man you will come to know as the Sumo. See life through this man's eyes; see life through lard.
Posted inGeneral
Making beautiful coloureds together
Thought Leader has been a mess of racial attacks and counter-attacks lately. As Friedman said, between Eskom and Zuma some of the South African citizens of European descent have been granted a platform, or what they perceive as moral high ground, from which to launch their attacks on all African people and on those who […]
Posted inLifestyle, Sport
The Windies, bad anthems and Shaun Pollock
Could it really be true, as Silwane and others have alluded to in the past, that music is a mind-altering substance and a direct cause of major changes of the course of history? I wonder, because it is entirely possible, isn’t it? I know what effect music has on me, the state of my soul […]
Posted inLifestyle
On polygamy
It has only been two generations of Zulu men that have toiled with the idea of monogamy as the only marital-institution option. Before that, Zulu men were quite openly polygamous. This was the norm rather than the shunned upon exception that is the case in our anglicised society today. If you had not noticed, ladies […]
Posted inGeneral
Survival 2008
The Thought Leader editorial team invited me (all the contributors, but I like to say “me” because it makes me feel all commissioned and all that) to write on the year ahead’s predictions or to review the past year, all related to my area of expertise. I think we can all agree that The Sumo’s […]
Posted inLifestyle
I am glad Christmas is over
I’m glad Christmas is over. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-Christmas, but I’m just glad that it’s over. The Christmas period used to be very special to me as a child because it meant holidays, new clothes and an abundance and indulgence in food, which is one of my favourite things still, but Christmas […]
Posted inNews/Politics
Mr Jacob Zuma’s unofficial spokesperson
As I write this, I’m sitting on my cranky old couch watching Jacob Zuma defend himself against questioning from an astute journalist who has taken a line of questioning that questions his relationship with one currently incarcerated Schabir Shaik, among other issues that form the image of the new president of the African National Congress. […]
Posted inLifestyle
Raising a generation of substance abusers
Last week Friday, my company held its year-end function. You can imagine how important such an occasion is. Free booze and food and, of course, the whole dress-up-to-a-theme thing and the bad decisions regularly made by aesthetically pleasing females meant that I missed the slaughtering of a bovine creature feature on Friday at my cousin’s […]
Posted inLifestyle
Township survival guide for non-blacks
A few weeks ago I posted a piece called “Single white male” from which much controversy arose. I was accused of all manner of racially biased crimes and being a typical black South African who feels entitlement to everything and never wants to work for anything or add any value. I was called all manner […]
Posted inLifestyle
Conned by a crooked, sweet, big old lady
Hailing from the once-great and still-proud Zulu nation, I was brought up in a home where good traditional values were taught and guarded jealously. Among these values was respect for your fellow man, in generally, but most importantly was respect for your elders. The matriarchal female in the traditional Zulu homestead was always the most […]
Posted inLifestyle
Single white male
Nambitha is a restaurant situated in the heart of Johannesburg’s Soweto township. The township, famous the world over because of its former status as the major launch pad of the South African freedom struggle, has become a popular destination for culture seekers and tourists of all nationalities, both local and International. Soweto’s fame and tourist […]
Posted inLifestyle
Sumophilia
A New Phenomenon: The winter of 2007 shall go down in the Sumo’s history as a time of boundless indulgence of the female kind. Allow me to elaborate, and in all that will follow, keep in mind that the Sumo is a bachelor. In the time leading to the winter of 2007, as the season […]