Human beings are a funny lot. Because I’ve written a few satirical opinion pieces that were published (plus I’m a Thought Leader, tee hee hee) I have had the “social commentator” tag attached to me a few times. That means that, all of a sudden, people want me to “comment” on things. This past Saturday […]
Ndumiso Ngcobo
Once upon a time, Ndumiso Ngcobo used to be an intelligent, relevant man with a respectable (read: boring-as-crap) job which funded his extensive beer habit.
One day he woke up and discovered that he had lost his mind, quit his well-paying job, penned a collection of hallucinations. A bunch of racist white guys published the collection just to make him look more ridiculous and called it 'Some of my best friends are white'. (Two Dogs, ISBN 978-1-92013-718-2).
Nowadays he spends his days wandering the earth like Kwai Chang Caine, munching locusts, mumbling to himself like John the Baptist and searching for the meaning of life at the bottom of beer mugs.
The racist publishers have reared their ugly heads again and dangled money in his face to pen yet another collection of hallucinations entitled 'Is It Coz 'm Black'.
He will take cash, major credit cards and will perform a strip tease for contributions to his beer fund.
Get ready to rumble
This is an open letter to Riaan Wolmarans, editor of the M&G Online. Dear Riaan, A street war has been raging in the public domain for a while now. The main protagonists have been the cream of intelligentsia in our land. On one side you have All the President’s Men, led by none other the […]
Parliament of whores?
The American writer, satirist and humorist PJ O’Rourke wrote a book entitled Parliament of Whores (1991) — apparently a caricature of the government of the United States. I must confess that I have never read the book although I fully intend to in the near future. Since about two weeks ago, the phrase “parliament of […]
An open letter to Jawah Hassan — all the way from Dubai
Since I started blogging on http://silwanekanjila.amagama.com I have attached my email address ([email protected]) at the bottom of my blogs almost from day one. It proved to be a master stroke because of all the excellent feedback I’ve received from some of my readers. Granted, some of the feedback is of the “your blogs are dog […]
Science is a lot of hocus-pocus. Ask Mark Shuttleworth
It’s almost been a year since The-Dwarf-Planet-Formerly-Known- As-Planet-Pluto was exposed as a fraud. On August 24 2006, 2 500 scientists congregated on a convention centre in Prague, the Czech Republic, and voted on Pluto’s planetary status. Yes, you read correct: THEY VOTED. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/5282440.stm And now it’s a done deal. Pluto is not a planet. And that’s […]
Why I’ll never live in New Zealand with my Bokkie
The official New Zealand Department of Population and Sustainable Development website has a page dedicated to sheep. Or more specifically, a page dedicated to correcting the misperception that the sheep-to-human ratio in New Zealand is 20:1. I’m not making this up. http://www.population.govt.nz/myth-busters/sheepmyth.htm I find this fascinating. Clearly, the clear-thinking government of New Zealand identified this […]
Bat-eared human rodents and the annoyance factor in politics
I’m suffering from a severe case of Manto exhaustion over here. Seldom has the media circus managed to get under my skin as much as those professional mudslingers over at the Times have been able to in recent times. For a writer, this is a horrible situation. My creativity is being jeopardised. I’ve got a […]
So, are the fatties fair game as subjects of humour?
Anyone who has bothered to read my collection of satirical pieces entitled, ‘Some of my best friends are white’ [cough*go-out-and-buy-it*cough] might have been picked up the fact that I often come across as ‘cantankerous’. At least that’s what someone told me after reading a few chapters.
Take a seat, my crowd of pervs.
‘Well, the story goes that a giraffe came upon a monkey perched high up in a tree, watching a sleeping lioness on the ground. “What are you up to?” asks the giraffe.“Well, if you must know, I’m waiting for that lioness to wake up so I can hump her brains out.”