Thought Leader is a Mail & Guardian-hosted blogging forum. Because of the content of the newspaper, an unsuspecting reader should be forgiven for going into Thought Leader expecting to read mostly political content. It therefore seems reasonable that if our hypothetical reader came upon a blog entitled The Silwane Files, Ndumiso Ngcobo with a picture […]
Ndumiso Ngcobo
Once upon a time, Ndumiso Ngcobo used to be an intelligent, relevant man with a respectable (read: boring-as-crap) job which funded his extensive beer habit.
One day he woke up and discovered that he had lost his mind, quit his well-paying job, penned a collection of hallucinations. A bunch of racist white guys published the collection just to make him look more ridiculous and called it 'Some of my best friends are white'. (Two Dogs, ISBN 978-1-92013-718-2).
Nowadays he spends his days wandering the earth like Kwai Chang Caine, munching locusts, mumbling to himself like John the Baptist and searching for the meaning of life at the bottom of beer mugs.
The racist publishers have reared their ugly heads again and dangled money in his face to pen yet another collection of hallucinations entitled 'Is It Coz 'm Black'.
He will take cash, major credit cards and will perform a strip tease for contributions to his beer fund.
Is Jacob Zuma entitled to more wives?
I have always worked on the assumption that for every topic there is one individual in the world who is the ultimate expert on it. Of course the subject has to be narrow enough for an absolute expert to exist. By my reckoning this should, in all fairness, preclude the rest of us from ever […]
I think I might be a commie bastard
If I told you that the system of capitalism depended largely on the spinelessness of the individual, I would hope that you’d take my word for it. I would hope that you wouldn’t get all technical on me and start regurgitating outmoded Economics 101 textbooks from your undergraduate days circa 1986. Capitalism depends largely on […]
Dear Charlene Smith: Please stop it already
Charlene Smith wrote an honest, truthful and soul-baring piece on the lot of the 21st-century writer. But more than anything else, it was really intelligent, well thought out, credible and well researched with references to literary icons such as Margaret Atwood. I had never heard of her until yesterday. God bless Wikipedia. It was a […]
Silwane throws the bones for 2008
The world is littered with people who make money for jam. It is just the way of the capitalist system. The trick about the capitalist system is to discover what it is that one has (product, skill, talent) that people are willing to pay for that is meaningless and has no value. This is why […]
Is Zuma Forrest Gump with a ‘sheeple’ following?
[Disclaimer: The author of this blog has never studied politics, journalism or any other discipline remotely useful in analyzing the ANC conference or any other political situation. Furthermore, he has been spotted at the student union canteen typing furiously on his PC in between healthy gulps of beer. Believe his pseudo-analysis at you own risk.] […]
Smut, sheep and airplanes in Polokwane
So, the experiment continues. The mad blogger is still walking around, looking around into this whole ANC conference situation. A while ago I entered the media centre to look for a space so I could pollute the blogosphere with the sulphuric fumes of my ignorant, pseudo-political observations. All I can tell you is that being […]
A blogger in Polokwane … an experiment gone wrong
I believe in affirmative action. This noble policy has ensured that this blogger has had plenty of experience with being thrown into the deep end and expected to sink swim. It’s old news by now that it seems that I have made history by being the first blogger to gain accreditation for the Mecca of […]
Wet in Malaysia
I am unfortunately still in Malaysia — Kuala Lumpur, to be precise. I qualify that statement with “unfortunately” because my boxer shorts are wet, I’m blind, I’m somewhat pissed off and I miss my mommy. Allow me to explain. But before I do, I need to make an observation. Since I started writing, I have […]
A dream deferred by the spawn of the devil
I am posting this from Malaysia, after a 10-hour trip. Economy class. Don’t judge me. The Johannesburg-to-Singapore leg of the trip has managed to reaffirm my belief in the existence of the devil. I have always held the view that the devil is a real phenomenon and that, in all likelihood, he has managed to […]
Somizi can play with my jewels any day
Did you hear about the case of indecent assault opened against dancer, choreographer, singer and actor Somizi Mhlongo? This is the type of story with “Silwane Files material” written all over it. The article reports that Somizi’s accuser approached him to ask for an autograph and Somizi “played” with the accuser’s private parts during this […]
Are atheists more rational than the Reverend Meshoe?
A few weeks ago, I wrote about my irrational, superstitious belief in God in a piece entitled “An irrational believer in God”. The sheer volume of emails I received in response was a bit overwhelming. The emails can be divided into four categories: 1. Other consciously irrational, superstitious religious types who emailed me to tell […]