Malema relents, grants Zuma a last-minute reprieve

African National Congress Youth League (ANCYL) president Julius Malema has relented regarding his intended disciplinary action against head of state, Jacob Zuma. JuJu made clear that his magnanimity should not construed to mean that he would grant Zuma his coveted second term.

A possible result of Zuma’s alleged “undermining the leadership authority of the ANCYL” was that he be “recalled”, the same punishment meted out to a previous errant president. Malema — nicknamed Kiddie Amin because of his similarity to the anti-imperialist hero who routed British anti-revolutionaries in Uganda by expelling the settler Indians and seizing their assets — pulled back from the brink at the last moment.

The specific trigger of the normally phlegmatic Malema’s ire was Zuma’s interference in the Zimbabwe crisis. The SA president acted without the sanction of the ANCYL to prop up the coalition government exactly at the moment that Zanu-PF, the ANCYL’s liberation struggle ally, had outflanked the Western-sponsored opposition and was on the point of sending it packing.

A visibly angry Malema called an impromptu press conference where he stressed that SA’s position as a “respected member” of the world revolutionary alliance meant that it had to act with “seriousness and sensitivity” to ensure partiality towards fraternal political organisations at all times. It was “totally alien” to the culture of the ANCYL to allow national interest and the wishes of 22m voters to outweigh the dagga-induced whimsies of its 1 473 militantly deployed cadres, Malema said.

Zuma’s was a “serious transgression” and he had “crossed the line”. While Malema conceded the ANC government had the right to express its opinions, senior members could not act to endanger the position and standing of the ANCYL. “The ANC is not an independent body. It exists within the umbrella policy and discipline of the ANCYL,” Malema said.

“Designer bling and Sandton mansions do not come cheap. Since the ANC might have to divest from the Hitachi consortium just as the billions start flowing, Zanu-PF’s skills at empowerment-oriented mineral extraction and land acquisition are crucial.”

Although the cherub-faced young president won’t comment, it is believed that there is also concern over Zuma’s lack of revolutionary zeal. Although not in itself grounds for a disciplinary rebuke, it does not improve Zuma’s popularity among the young lions that he does not use the honorific “Comrade” sufficiently often.

A senior source within the ANCYL revealed, on condition of anonymity, that Zuma had been particularly resistant to attempts to dress his post in radical garb. “Gadaffi is called the Great Guide; Kim, the Great Leader; and Mao, the Great Helmsman. We wanted JZ to answer to Great Figurehead, partly because it reflects his position in government and, admittedly, partly because of the shape of his cranium, but nothing doing. Now we just call him Hey Chief.”

The source said that the party vanguard would go ahead with plans to address Malema as the Great Conciliator, rather than Great Pretender, as suggested by reactionary elements within the tripartite alliance.

Meanwhile Malema, whose effortless accumulation of vast wealth has raised eyebrows, has come out strongly in support of ANC secretary general Gwede Mantashe’s statement this week that SA had inherited a “corrupt and wrong value system” from the apartheid regime, which it was currently managing.

“The Boere made us do it,” Malema said, “which is why I had to call for their extermination. It’s is the only way to ensure that our youth is not contaminated by wrong tendencies. Personally, though, I am not returning any of the money I didn’t take”