With a creative team that has us eagerly anticipating their next take on the idiosyncrasies of South African life, Nando’s might now be in a position to formally enter the political arena in the form of menus that reflect the issues that concern us all. So where Zapiro might be highlighting problems through his drawings and Pieter Dirk Uys via his plays, Nando’s could create menus along the following lines:
The Arms Deal Full Peri-Peri (where more is less for everyone)
Don’t sThint on this one, order the complete bird.
Full chicken cooked by our auditors.
Surprisingly, we don’t get any inquiries for this one.
Even though it is hard graft we are more than happy to do the business.
Comes with plenty of sauce.
If you find a bug in your arms deal then rest assure, there’ll be no charge.
Complimentary Coke, but you have to decide who will carry the can.
Not usually suitable for those with a weak constitution.
(If you tell us who referred you to buying the arms deal we will send them 10% of the purchase price — they can call it a loan)
The Vusi Pikoli Lemon and Herb
Full chicken but served without the left wing.
Comes without fries because whenever you mention Pikoli we keep chips.
Suitable for parties after being fried.
After your Pikoli we have a free hen radio giveaway (make sure to ask for your mp she player)
(Please note that after inquiries staff have been known to give the wrong order — please let us know — and we’ll ignore you)
The Bob Mugabe Extra Hot Peri-Peri
Remember to always say Grace before eating this one!
Payment only accepted in foreign currency.
If you want a spicy bird then Gono further than the Bob Mugabe.
Popular in England after parties where punters are known to say “I could just murder a Mugabe about now…”
Not popular locally but will remain on the menu until we work out how to get rid of it.
Don’t be concerned if the sell-by date on the packet is long past — safe if enjoyed outside of Zimbabwe.
(Only in Zimbabwe: With each Mugabe you get loads of free farms as part of Operation Barren Wasteland).
Indeed, if Nando’s were to really get into the swing of this worldwide they could create a whole new brand of satirists — you’ve heard of Doctors without Borders now meet Comedians without Passports.
A prince with dignity and determination
Prince Ngarambe’s goals are to become Rwanda’s first transgender model and to uplift the country’s youth
The EFF’s principles are unshakeable
Unlike the ANC, the core values of the freedom fighters do not change with each leader it elects
