Those English bastards!

Typical! You buy the gun, load the ammo, take aim — only to find the bastard’s only gone and put a bullet through his own head.

I mean, what is the point of lying awake all night, drooling about the wonderful digs you can have at the “whingeing Poms”, if they’re going to out-dig you themselves?!

I had tons lined up: “Yes, there’s a place for English rugby, I just haven’t had time to dig it yet,” or “Isn’t it time we started a two-tier system to avoid this kind of farce?” or even “I was very upset after the game; the third glass of champagne was off.”

Perhaps even, “The English rugby chairman opened up the trophy cabinet and a Japanese World War II prisoner escaped.”

But the bastards in the English press bushwhacked us by praising us to the heavens and out-slaughtering anything we could come up with for their team.

From the Daily Star (nogal) to the Times of London there was a wailing and gnashing of teeth every time the English name was mentioned. In contrast they spoke of potential world champions and brainy Springboks when referring to our mob!

Guys, this is not on!

I mean, read this garbage from the Times of London:

PARIS HORROR SHOW: Stephen Jones

STEP FORWARD FOR BOKS: Stuart Barnes

HOW THE MIGHTY FELL: Stephen Jones

It’s enough to make you puke! How are we supposed to have a go at England after they’ve written all the good bits? I’ve a good mind (my mom’s always said that) to go and write a series of articles defending the English rugby team.

And the Times is by no means alone in this praise-the-Bokke, shoot-the-English approach — it’s all over their papers:

Well, I for one am not going to put up with this! Do these Poms have any idea how hard Jake and the boys worked just so that we as the South African media could come up with analyses like: “Hmmm, possibly it might be in our interest to play the dirt trackers against sides like England.”

What if they were booted out of the Six Nations and joined, say, Portugal and Georgia for a while? Surely the benefit of playing teams like that may facilitate their re-entry into the competition when they are strong enough.

I’m writing to Gordon Brown — these journos have set back Anglo-South African relations a hundred years.

Potential world champions indeed!