With apologies to JK Rowling for borrowing part of the Harry Potter title I believe that the ANCYL president Julius Malema would be wasted doing law through Unisa when a degree in philosophy surely beckons.

Philosophy is defined in the Oxford Dictionary as follows :

“• noun (pl. philosophies) 1 the study of the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence. 2 the theories of a particular philosopher. 3 a theory or attitude that guides one’s behaviour. 4 the study of the theoretical basis of a branch of knowledge or experience.

— ORIGIN Greek philosophia ‘love of wisdom’.”

(His matric results clearly demonstrate that here is a desperate seeker of knowledge)

Of course, like any other field this wide, Malema would have to specialise and here I believe that his strength would lie in the branch knows as “existentialism”. Perhaps he could focus on the works of the founding “fathers” Soren Kierkegaard and Friedrich Nietzsche.

However seeing as he is South African, possibly his PhD would best be styled “ex-Xhosastentialism” in that under the new dispensation not all resources of the country would be distributed to “certain individuals or a certain tribe”; well at least not the same ones anyway.

I was going to suggest that he pursue “idealism” and study Kant but should he become steeped in the works of Kant the chances are his opponents may refer to him as a big K … but I digress.

Of course with his knowledge of ex-Xhosastentialism it hardly seems worth bothering about anyway.

Where existentialists believe that philosophical thinking begins with the human subject ex-Xhosastentialists would believe that philosophical thinking best end quickly or somebody’s going to get a good hiding.

Where “Kierkegaard, a Christian, believed that the truth of religious faith was a subjective question, and one to be wrestled with passionately” the Malema school of thought would believe that Zuma, having heard of and referred to Christianity, planned to rule until the second coming and he (Malema) would wrestle passionately with anyone who thought otherwise.

Of course Malema has assured us that he plans to be far more decent and law abiding about everything. As recently as Sunday in Emalahleni (Witbank) he told a packed audience that the Lekota breakaway could lead to violence but he was going to be civil … there was going to be a civil war when Lekota’s mob doesn’t accept election results … something like that. You’ve heard of thinking outside the box. This is more your thinking that will put you in a box or Lekota with your pants down.

www.politicsweb.co.za/politicsweb/view/politicsweb/en/page71619?oid=107850&sn=Detail

(Speech in full)

“The last few weeks we watched a handful of ANC members-turned-dissidents setting the stage for what is undoubtedly the most idiotic political performance ever seen in this country. What makes their dramatic performance more amazing is the shallowness of their approach based on the belief that the masses will believe them when they claim that the ANC has lost its soul post Polokwane. The Polokwane conference was held a mere ten months ago and any rot in the ANC would have accumulated over a number of years. Ironically, some of these dissidents were among the highest ranking officials of the ANC for more than 10 years.

Surely the rot they allege has enveloped the ANC would have settled in on their watch. Are we then to believe that the rot that was settling in over the last 10 years was good, and since there was a change of guard in Polokwane it suddenly turned bad?” (Malema)

Here we can clearly see the genius of Malema – either this is classic Empiricism of the John Locke or David Hume school of thought or Julius’s new home has a case of dry rot, which needs urgent attention. Either way his point comes across really well.

I leave you with these words surely destined to become immortal:

“We dare proclaim for all to hear that we will not be cowed into submission because those who disagree with us label us as hooligans devoid of respect and vision.”

“Cowed?”

The next person to take a dig at my beloved Blue Bulls better have the backstop that Julius Malema has. After the abuse I’ve had to put up with from all you Sharks supporters I’m not very philosophical about now.

You have been warned.

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Michael Trapido

Michael Trapido

Mike Trapido is a criminal attorney and publicist having also worked as an editor and journalist. He was born in Johannesburg and attended HA Jack and Highlands North High Schools. He married Robyn...

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