After some extended quality time with Telkom’s automated hold system this morning, these are a few of my (least) favourite things about being put on hold:
They’re cheap. They only invested in 45 seconds of badly mastered pan-pipe instrumentals, and then looped it. This is more than a little annoying when you’re on hold for 15 minutes. That’s 20 loops.
They’re unfriendly. That smug woman saying, “Please be patient, your call will be answered as soon as possible,” is not somebody with whom I want to be friends. I don’t believe her for a second. Bet she’s never been put on hold.
They’re draining. I could feel my life ticking away in pointless wasted seconds as my brain slowly turned to hypnotised mush and my frustration levels soared.
They make me feel powerless. You can’t argue with an automated voice, much as you’d like to.
There’s no way of getting back at them. Much as I’d like to, I’m so desperate for Telkom to call me back that I’ll chat to them immediately. No putting them on hold. It’s a travesty.
Bridget McNulty is a writer, content strategist and creative director. She is the editor of Sweet Life diabetes lifestyle magazine (www.sweetlifemag.co.za) and...
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