Who are you? Changing identities and un-belonging

There is a disturbing “crisis of identity”, especially among young South Afrikans today, and it cuts across ethnic groups, racial categories, social and economic classes. Questions of belonging abound among a generally disconnected people, right around and possibly within you. People ask: Who am I? Where do I fit in? What do my clothes, car, address, cellphone, job and so forth say about me? And I say this is all good. No, in fact, it is great!

Have you noticed that the ongoing national debates on the calibre of leadership we have among us give us all a mirror in which we can see ourselves, introspectively? I would venture to say that it is common knowledge now that the political and socio-economic transformation of South Africa since 1990 has seen the emergence of fascinating, yet unpredictable, trends in behavioural and socio-cultural traits, especially among the youth and other groups that were ill-defined by, and subsequently owned, the labels from the past.

Who defines who you are, really? I don’t just mean the name that you’re referred to by … such as “Premonition”, “Sudden” or even “Guess”. That’s your name; that’s part of your identity. I’m talking about something deeper, more profound than the external label. Your essence, your being. Who are you?

There are new cultural traits in business practice (racial inclusiveness, white women and transformation debate, blah blah blah). There are certainly changes in business language (this is not about you and me learning at least one more Afrikan language, which is liberating by the way!), with emotional intelligence and relationship skills gaining credence in business schools. It is about understanding our constantly growing and shifting socio-business environment, and finding oneself within that.

There are many identity shifts taking place across our changing society. There are shifts in fashion too. My “in-touch” graphic-designer sister insists that I must look hip and happening, wear low-cut or tight jeans, and not wince at the sight of a stripped pink shirt as a gift! My idea of myself as a black Afrikan male is being constantly challenged. Well, I’m learning to belong to my own place, to my people (of all colours) and to fit in this generation of “happening people”.

Talking about this change and the search for identity and belonging, let’s take music, for example. I have no idea what is “hip and happening”; I don’t even want to be “hip and happening”. I like what music I like. I know quite a bit about jazz, the classics, some kwaito and pop too. I cannot always hear, let alone understand, what they are singing in hip-hop and rap, although some of it is really good stuff. Music has a way of getting into you regardless of genre.

But I digress. How does this help with this crisis of identity one sees all around? I’m still part of this milieu, hit between the eyes by this identity and un-belonging social puzzle. Yes, there are changes in our collective national psyche in general. I keep reminding younger ones around me that they must be aware of our country’s main challenges and at least wear an Aids ribbon to help maintain or enhance consciousness about this resident crisis. There is no ribbon for poverty and unemployment, unfortunately, which seem more endemic to many people. But you can smell poverty all around you in all the places near you.

Emerging out of these myriad change scenarios is a mix of psychological challenges, of messed-up identities and widespread confusion among people of all types and groups. There is a constant hunger to belong, to be accepted, to be acceptable or to define where one stands, not necessarily what one stands for. There is a huge difference right there. It would seem that we all want to shape what matters and what is regarded as acceptable. Some among us feel that they own and apportion the right to name what or who is proper, correct, civilised, acceptable and so forth. People love winners. Just look at the Springboks and the euphoria around the recent World Cup win — everyone wanting to be seen with them, identify with them and feel the belonging, but, most interestingly, to apportion and allocate their “success” to one aspect or the other. National asset? Oh, yes, definitely! Contested identifications? You bet! Whose team is it? A national team. Hmmm?

The current general identity confusion among some of our young people (it’s not all) is an indictment on all of us for our collective failure to accept and teach each other to embrace the strength that is inherent in our diversity. It is fascinating to note the telltale signs of this emerging identity confusion. The confusion manifests itself in a variety of forms: from the obvious signs such as trying to speak like an American after spending a week over there (or watching a few movies or music videos) to the subtle yet telling signs such as rejecting and hating a black African visitor, while welcoming and embracing a Western, American or Asian visitor with open arms.

It is self-hatred. This is one of the ugliest, longest-lingering and difficult-to-address effects of our dark past. No prizes for guessing who is the master at perpetuating it …

Steve Biko said it once: “The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.” What did you use your mind for today?