What does your bank account say about you?

Go log into your internet bank account and have a look at your list of beneficiaries. Chances are there’s the story of your life, at least over the years you’ve been banking online. Mine go back to 2004 and they’re disturbingly revealing, mainly because I’ve never paid much attention to them before.

There, listed in alphabetical order, was everything from the fees I paid to Wits in 2004, the zillionth year of my PhD, to the lawyer’s bill for the divorce.

There are EFTs to game lodges where I stayed with the ex, and thus banished from memory. The hotel where a friend got married, a birthday present for my brother. Various donations to charity (including one to the Tsunami disaster fund — can you believe how long ago that was?), a R100 raffle ticket I bought to help out Kitty & Puppy Haven, the bill I picked up for the sound guy at a fundraising event for ReadSA.

Bills for my therapist, anaesthetist and dermatologist.

Settlements on two cars.
The installation of a Netstar tracking device.
An Nguni cowhide (yes, I fell for the trend too, and I still think they look cool on a concrete screed floor).
My SA National Parks Wild Card.
Payment for a walking trail in Nyalaland in the Kruger Park (that was wonderful, and I still want to blog about how you should all go there and undergo a psychological detox).
Ads on CD from Ornico for my doctoral thesis on advertising and nation-building.
The rent.
A locksmith (long story, and one I will never blog about).

My mother-in-law’s funeral.

A one-way ticket to Australia. Heh.

Such perfunctory references (“divorce”, “funeral”, “one way tick” — the banks don’t give you much space). Hopefully yours are more cheerful, and say things like “shoes”, “cruise” or “Ferrari”. But have a look at where your money has gone over the years. It may just surprise you with how much it reveals.