Time for SA to invade and occupy Zimbabwe

I am one of the most decisive people that I know. “Come on Chook, let’s go live in China,” I brightly announced one day to my wife in England after being “let go” from my second job (I was a terrible salesman by England’s cut-throat standards). “Okay,” she said, “hmmm … sounds interesting”.

So, amid the moans and pleas of the extended family we made that wonderful decision four years ago.

I am also one of the most reckless, impulsive people that I know. I open my mouth when I shouldn’t, and while I know the TL editors like my writing and are prepared to publish some inflammatory material, I have been politely asked on several occasions to tone it down. Fair enough, their suggestions were wisdom in hindsight.

But the more I think about the Zimbabwe issue the only way forward is for the SA army to occupy Zimbabwe, to remove mad Bob from office permanently and create an interim government that will restore peace and order and re-boot the economy.

I cannot think of a better and more responsible action for the SA government to take right now. And I mean right now. Living in China, I am sick to death of listening to the journalists and non-ANC politicians — from SA and internationally — bleat and moo about Zimbabwe and nothing, absolutely nothing, ever gets done. Pity there was not a reservoir or two of oil or plutonium in Zimbabwe. The US flag would have been waving above Harare a long time ago.

The move would boost international confidence in the Southern African region. The West would praise President Kgalema Motlanthe, and Zuma Messiah, of course, would try and hop on the bandwagon to ensure he gets his share of the glory. There would be a surge of investor confidence in SA.

The first item on a long list to sort out would be the cholera outbreak. That disease can easily go over Zimbabwe’s borders into neighbouring countries. That is one reason why other countries in the region should have no real reason to gripe about SA’s military move.

And then (and I’m a John Lennon fan) just imagine all the people receiving proper medical treatment, the stimulus to the region’s economy, the return of employment as the international investors in a year or so’s time (perhaps earlier) have the confidence to invest in Zim-SA enterprises once they see law and order being restored.

Just imagine Zimbabweans in exile in SA happily going back across the borders, thus solving the violent xenophobic problems SA townships are facing.

Epidemics like cholera alone, never mind the violence wrought by xenophobic factions, are reasons alone to call off SA hosting the world football cup in 2010, or will ensure a crummy turnout. They are therefore reasons alone — never mind the others — for the SA army to invade and occupy because Zimbabwe is now a threat to the entire region at a time when the globe is in an economic tumult. By occupying Zimbabwe, SA would actually be making a contribution to the restoration of the world’s economy.

We just don’t have leaders with the balls to do so. We need a Winston Churchill or a Bill Clinton … oh dream on Rod …

I just don’t think Motlanthe has the courage or the real power to make such a significant, decisive move. He is clearly the soft filling in the sandwich, a flavour of the month between the rock-hard, reified dogmas of Mbeki and Zuma (hopefully not the latter, by some Cope-DA coalition miracle).

Our current leaders simply don’t know how to make crucial, incisive decisions. All we get is the rant and rave of Zuma, and his inability to say anything intelligent and relevant. He just hides behind the group-talk or corporate jargon of the ANC. He refuses to debate with Helen Zille in public because, as we all know, he has not got the acumen or education to handle that level of debate. Zille’s surgical intellect and her way with words would have him chopped up and served to the dogs of ignorance and empty “bring me my machine gun” rhetoric in no time at all. Zuma knows that.

It would be a peaceful invasion, one which most Zimbabweans would welcome. The Zim army would only put up a token resistance. Just imagine Mugabe being led handcuffed from his mansion in Harare to prison while the video is broadcast to the world which watches SA’s move breathlessly and admiringly. Mad Bob can then stand trial for crimes against humanity.

Think about it. If South Africa does not take this radical, responsible step, what is to become of South Africa and the rest of the region? Is there really any other responsible choice left? The impoverished Zimbabwean people alone are owed this.