Tiger Brands, give us our daily bread!

The past week, I have been busy taking electricity-evading classes from my township mates in preparation for the 14,2% electricity price increase. Just as I was beginning to learn the basics of electricity evasion, an announcement arrived that said bread would increase in price too.

In this blog I was going to talk about electricity, but anyone can rather light a candle than sleep hungry, so let’s talk about bread. This preference of bread over electricity is not to encourage Eskom to shed its loading or load its shedding (whatever it calls its unwillingness to provide us with electricity, when we pay for it!), just because for now I want to talk about bread, and not Eskom.

Anyway, back to my Kasi School of Evadonomics. Upon receiving the news of bread-price increases, I immediately asked my mates whether we couldn’t change the curriculum from electricity to bread evasion. It was soon made clear that there were no bread-price-evasion tactics available in the Kasi School of Evadonomics, except for stealing. Left with no choice, I have to vent my anger in this blog, hoping it will make a difference. This ought to be bad for a first blog entry, but someone ought to do it.

Bread prices are increasing, again! I cannot believe it; neither can Trevor in the Treasury, for a change. I am not angry; I am infuriated. What can I do when someone takes my daily bread — by increasing its price decreasing my access to it? A hungry man is an angry man, so they say. Bread is the most important type of food; so important that Christians include it in prayer every day. For all those wondering what I am raving and ranting about, please ask Tiger Brands and its fellow breadmakers about their continuous assault on “our daily bread”.

Christians should be particularly pissed off — especially since Jesus never said what should be done to a company like Tiger Brands when it steals this daily bread from them, just after spending so much time begging the almighty for it. Christians have always prayed: “Give us our daily bread”, for hundreds of years, as taught by Jesus Christ; now Tiger Brands comes and takes the bread.

Many of us had been severely struck by the fixing and refixing of bread prices by Tiger Brands. It is in this context that we were delighted to hear that Tiger Brands was caught out by the Competition Commission for this despicable act. We were particularly pleased to hear that it had been fined a couple of million for cheating us. This is not to say that was enough, but at least Tsotsi Brands (as I prefer to call Tiger Brands) was told to pay us back for what it stole from us, albeit through the state.

None of us ever thought that Tsotsi Brands would then come back and steal these millions from us (through bread-price increases) in order to pay us. Ever heard a person stealing from the bank to pay the same bank? Tiger Brands is doing this and is hoping to get away with double thuggery. This is downright nonsensical.

This ferocious increase in bread prices should not be taken lightly. Millions of working-class South Africans are hardest hit. I am already feeling the pain. Marx has always warned me about the free-market system, saying that it is only free for those who want to legitimise exploitation and corruption. Tiger Brands proves him absolutely spot-on! Even Trevor Manuel has found himself disagreeing with capitalist competition as epitomised by Tiger Brands.

This continued increase in bread prices proves the toothlessness of our inflation-targeting system. Tito Mboweni’s interest-rate hikes certainly limit the purchasing thirst of consumers, but they do nothing to deter the increase in inflation. Before it’s too late, our government ought to put price controls on bread, even if this necessitates subsidies for wheat and bread producers. Our government needs to do this as soon as possible, before these tigers and their brands leave us impoverished.

In conclusion, let me borrow and amend the Christian prayer and say: “Tiger Brands, give us back our daily bread and deliver us not into impoverishment; for thou art a Tsotsi of a Tiger; forever and ever I am hungry because of you. Amen!”