Why do people get so worked up when women get married and the issue of surname change arises? Over the past few weeks several people that I know or know of through friends have decided to get married. In all cases the issue of whether the wife-to-be should take on the husband-to-be’s surname came up. It has caused much drama and stress for many of these people and I’m not quite sure that I understand it. So to try and work it out, I have come up with some reasons to change, and not to change. Feel free to add your own.
Reasons to change your surname
1. Your own surname is terrible. If you have a surname that is hard on the tongue, nobody can pronounce, or causes much laughter whenever someone says it, then I think this is a fairly good time to take the opportunity to get rid of this tongue-bumbling nightmare.
2. Your surname is average, but his surname makes you sound like a high flying executive/film star. Why not? If your surname is nice (in the Fiat Palio sense of the word), but his is nicer, hop on board and get the glamour name.
3. You don’t like your dad, and you want to change your surname to Pamplemousse just to piss him off.
Reasons not to change your name.
1. His surname is rubbish.
2. You have all your degrees and assets in your name and you can’t be bothered to go to home affairs or the relevant government department of inefficiency and try to change them.
3. You believe that it is submissive to change your name just because you’re getting married (but as an aside, your own surname comes from your dad. That’s the way patriarchy works. It allows men to mark out their women like dogs pissing on trees. So unless you take your mother’s name (which was her fathers name anyway) you aren’t really making much of a radical stand point.)
4. You love your daddy waddy and you couldn’t ever give up your precious name ever even for the love of your life.
5. Because your new hubby’s feelings will be hurt (this is the WORST).
In fact, all of these are pretty rubbish reasons to change/not change your name. The whole debate is outdated. If you are really worried about the issue and plan on having gazillions of children then both of you should choose a new surname and change your name to that. Sticking with the theme of my previous blog, ditch the guilt and live a little bit for yourself.
Author
A prince with dignity and determination
Prince Ngarambe’s goals are to become Rwanda’s first transgender model and to uplift the country’s youth
The EFF’s principles are unshakeable
Unlike the ANC, the core values of the freedom fighters do not change with each leader it elects
