The slaves are back

What a pre-season of discontent. Ultimately, though, it was much ado about niks.

Cristiano Ronaldo gave us his own version of a Julius Malema-risation by suggesting that he was a modern-day slave (for those not versed on the matter, a “Julius” is a statement that is uttered with not much forethought, thus leading to much ridicule or controversy … or both).

Robinho of Brazil and Real Madrid has followed suit as he clamours for a switch to the riches of the Stamford Bridge bench, saying Madrid are holding him against his will. If this is slavery, then please take away my middle-class education and give me my rags and sandals. I, too, want to be a R1-million-a-week-plus labourer of the world’s best fields.

Despite all these shenanigans, much of the speculation these past few months has been exactly that — cannon fodder, hearsay and wishful thinking. For most of these slaves are bound to their masters and, as we have seen, their masters are not keen to see them harvesting someone else’s fertile fields.

So Ronaldo is still at Old Trafford, Didier Drogba — despite a “broken relationship” — is happy to stay at the Bridge, and even Lampard’s love for Jose Mourinho has been curtailed by a lucrative new deal.

The biggest loser, as it transpires, is the one player who is not even world-class, quite frankly. Gareth Barry, he of Villa fame, has seen a summer-long flirtation fizzle into exactly that.

For when Rafa Benitez had to apply the £18-million lobola, the powers that be at Anfield said he should look elsewhere. Ouch! After isolating himself from his adoring fans, that must be a bitter pill to swallow for poor Barry. Now cup-tied in Europe, his move to the Kop looks unlikely.

There are still two weeks left in the transfer window, and with murmurings of Berbatov angling for a switch to United, Chelsea still eyeing another superstar and even Tottenham being linked with big money deals, the season should still see plenty of “Julius”-like mutterings.