A bigger, better, more bonkers future for all

Joyful news for all our ANC alliance-phobes. Good tidings for those sick to death of ANC incompetence, corruption and maladministration. Hope for those despairing over our so-called monocracy.

We’ve been saved.

The South African Community Government Union (SACGU) has heard our anguished cries for a party that can actually take on and beat the ANC instead of returning pitiful poll showings and spending the five years between elections moaning over the ANC’s refusal to not let people vote for it.

And unlike the zipper challenged warrior of Luthuli House, the SACGU comes into power fully prepared. See not only do they have a fully fledged constitution at the ready, thus putting the ANC’s ponderous rate of legislative overhaul to shame, but they have repealed literally dozens of Acts of Parliament all before we even knew they were in government. Forget Thabo Mbeki, THESE guys are Fit To Govern. Hell, they’ve even demonstrated an ability to manoeuvre within the system and use it to their advantage with great cunning and guile. And they are dab hands at cronyism through their association with Mr Oilgate himself, Sandile Majali.

The SACGU was inaugurated, according to their website, on November 24 2001 at the Union Buildings, and were “also the State and Government” from that date on. Which does make one wonder what the fuss over that rowdy malarkey in Polokwane was all about. For those who have long been crying for a more corporate model of governance to reduce waste and increase efficiency, rejoice! For the SACGU is not only “the State and Government” but they are also a “Corporate Monarchy” and a “Controlling Company”. So efficiency, profit and no dillydallying about with politburos and committees, straight to action is their game.

The SACGU, led by Stephen Khoza, or more appropriately, The Master, and aided by deputies Dr Harry Sferopoulous and Elvis (he lives!) Bongani Ndala, has already gotten its hands dirty delving into the many malaises in government such as corruption and the pesky problem of pesky distribution. See their involvement in the Majali corporate hijacking saga

Of course the biggest upside of all of this is with the ANC seemingly have been party to the handover of power to the SACGU, they claim on their documents that the “State President” has co-signed on many of their Acts and the constitution, all this without the voters being allowed a say, we could send Luthuli House off to The Hague and be rid of Yengeni, Julius, Floyd and all the rest of them.

The only snag with this plan is that our liberators are currently battling their way through some red tape. This involves such absurdities as having to prove their sanity at Sterkfontein and being hauled before courtrooms to be charged with doing as they see fit, with their country. What bollockery!

The SACGU — a bigger better, more bonkers future for all.