Julius Malema is back in the news. Yet again for his outrageous comments. Back in January, he is reported to have said President Jacob Zuma’s rape accuser would not have stayed for breakfast if she had not enjoyed the sex. Today he claimed that this does not constitute hate speech.

I’m not so sure. Sounds pretty bad to me.

However, that said, I like Mr Malema. He has this funny vibe. So I have decided to try and help him.

I found this company online called MALEMA SENSORS.

With a name like that I thought they must be able to help Mr Malema stop making these crazy comments. So I emailed them.

From David James Smith <[email protected]>
To [email protected]
Date Thu, Jul 9, 2009 at 3:47 PM
Subject The Malema Censor 3000

Hi there!

It was with interest that I discovered your company, Malema Sensors, on the web today.

As experts in Malema products, I thought you might be able to solve a small problem we are having in South Africa.

Julius Malema is a South African political leader who has a tendency to say some fairly outrageous stuff. Which is not so good for his career. I was hoping that with your engineering expertise we could design some sort of sensor that warns him when he is in danger of putting his foot in his mouth.

A sort of Malema censor, so to speak.

It could be a simple device. Something that he attaches to his foot or shoe that emits a signal. And a small receiver that can be attached somewhere near the mouth region. When the two devices come into close vicinity of each other, a small alarm goes off.

Or we could look into some voice recognition technology. So when he says something like “rape victims don’t stay for breakfast” the machine recognises the bad subject matter and emits a loud siren to drown him out. Maybe it even gives him a small shock. That way it could help him to slowly correct his behaviour.

If you guys are able to help, you will be doing South Africa a great service. As youth leader of the largest party in South Africa, Mr Malema does have a big role to play in South Africa’s future. And it will be sad to see him carry on this way.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Kind Regards
David

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  • David Smith is a world famous artist and a British Olympic hammer thrower. He is a curler for Scotland and Manitoba. A pro wrestler fondly known as the British Bulldog. A Canadian economist and a Mormon missionary they call the Sweet Singer of Israel. He is a British historian and a bishop. David Smith is the biographer of HG Wells, a professor of physics, a composer and a music teacher at Yale. He played rugby for Samoa, England and New Zealand. He created the Melissa worm, a deadly computer virus. He is the Guardian's man in Africa, he starred in a reality TV show and shot his way to silver in the 600m military rifle prone position at the 1920 Summer Olympics in Antwerp. But this isn't that David Smith. This is the blog of the other David Smith. David J Smith. The one from Durban by the Sea. The one who lives in Amsterdam. Yes, him. The David Smith who likes to write about himself in the third person. To learn about all the other David Smiths: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Smith To contact this David Smith: [email protected]

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David J Smith

David Smith is a world famous artist and a British Olympic hammer thrower. He is a curler for Scotland and Manitoba. A pro wrestler fondly known as the British Bulldog. A Canadian economist and a Mormon...

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