The Hard Copper Gentlemen's Club

I don’t think being rescued after nine weeks underground with 32 friends from work makes you a hero. I once spent an entire long weekend holed up in a beach house in Hermanus with 10 buddies and no one called us heroes when we got home. This is what men do — we try to get away. Be it on the golf course, with a fishing rod in the hand or at a bar. The basic male instinct is to remove himself from his domestic situation every now and then for reflection, peace, quiet and beer.

I’m not saying those men in Chile collapsed the mine on themselves, I’m just saying when the shock wore off they probably looked around and said, “Esto no es tan malo!” (Hey, this is not so bad!) Yonni Barrios must have had the biggest grin on his face. Here he was almost a kilometre underground with 700 tons of rock between him and his wife who just found one of his mistress’s panties in his car. Talk about having a rock between you and a hard place. The others probably walked around the 1.8km long tunnel all thinking the same thing: man cave. For the first time in years they could do as they pleased. Jose Gonzalez and Jimmy Sanchez immediately let rip with obscenities just for the hell of it. The foreman, Luis Urzúa, ordered everyone to put their shovels down and come look at the naughty pack of cards he had with him. They sat down and played poker for hours. Then all of a sudden a hole appeared in the roof. Tortillas, well-wishes and Cristal Lager came through in a steady stream. An iPod and some speakers arrived. Poker chips, tobacco, newspapers, magazines, soft lighting, a mini bar.

Three weeks into their “ordeal” their spiritual leader, Jose Henriguez, came up with a name for their new home: El Caballero De Cobre Duro Club (The Hard Copper Gentlemen’s Club). They ordered some paint and put the name up above the caved-in entrance. Edison Pena and Claudio Yanez were told to man the “entrance” 24/7 to make sure no woman makes it in.

Seven weeks into the “tragedy” the foreman sent word that they’re not coming up and would like to declare the tunnel a sovereign country. He sent up a carefully thought out constitution with instructions to send down more Cristal Lager and pizza. The constitution stated that The Hard Copper Gentleman’s Club is one, sovereign, democratic state founded on the principles of good governance and the right to leave the seat up. No one is expected to be a good listener and it is forbidden to be in touch with your feelings or ask for directions. Everyone has the right to freedom and security of the person, which includes the right to put your feet on the couch. No one may be subjected to slavery, servitude or forced visits from the in-laws.

Two weeks later a package carrying 33 Oakley sunglasses arrived through the hole in the roof. On it was a note from Luis Urzúa’s wife, it read: “Poner fin a esta mierda y volver a casa. Ahora.” (Stop this shit and come home. Now.)