The greatest con

“We can copy everything except your mother.”

So goes a saying in Shanghai — but soon they will not only copy your mother, but your mother-in-law too. With cloning, such a possibility may not be far-fetched.

From top designer brands to car parts and even motorbikes, if there is demand, China can be relied on for endless supplies of knock-offs (Fong Kong, as these are known in township lingo). Favourite among Chinese counterfeiters is Pfizer’s bestseller, Viagra, which is said to sell like koeksisters.

That China earned the gold medal in counterfeiting is not astounding as almost every major manufacturer imaginable has some kind of operation in that country. Undoubtedly China has over the years become the hub of counterfeit economic activity, and it is by far the world’s biggest transgressor of intellectual property laws.

On Friday 08/08/08 at 08:08pm, China kicked off the Olympic Games with a colourful celebration. The world was dazzled by a spectacular display of phony fireworks. The man behind this fake work of art was the director of films such as Raise the Red Lantern and House of Flying Daggers, Zhang Yomou. He managed to pull of the greatest con in the history of the Games.

Even the cute nine-year-old Chinese girl who almost brought tears to eyes of grown men was fake. It is not the lip-synching of Ode to the Motherland that is most disgusting, but rather the decision to disqualify the real singer for failing the cuteness test. The Chinese Politburo had no desire to broadcast to the millions of viewers a girl with crooked teeth. According to the ceremony’s chief music director, Chen Qigang, “the audience will understand that it’s in the national interest”. How despicable!

The legendary tenor Luciano Pavarotti lip-synched at the 2006 Winter Games in Turin; and we loved his performance nevertheless. It is not the faking that is troubling but the quest for perfection which borders on the ridiculousness that is most upsetting.

Well done, Michael Phelps!