A the day at the Ashes, MCG style

It was with great trepidation that I stepped upon the metro train at Malvern Station, destined for my first ever day of Ashes cricket at the Melbourne Cricket Ground, known to us as the MCG, or to the locals as simply “the G”. I had been there once before for a big AFL game, but this was the real deal, and for $31 (R210+-) I was getting the full day experience …

The train was packed and most people were heading towards one of the greatest stadiums in the cricket world. The weather leading up to the game had been average at best, but with the first two days making it out alive, day three was greeted with one of the best days of the summer thus far. The Melbourne sky was blue and promised a long day of cricket.

After being greeted by the throng on the way to the stadium, I found Gate 5 which was closest to my seat in the General Reserve. Specifically Bay 11, near Bay 13, where mischief lives. Now, nothing prepares you for the sheer size of the MCG, especially if you are used to South African cricket stadiums. It is so large that as you approach, it looms on the horizon. Statues littered the pavement, with the adjourning stand being named after this little known titan of the game …

The field was in pristine condition as I made it to my seat, having missed an over or two while buying my first two beverages of the day, and this was the sight that greeted me …

The first session went along at a canter with England looking to push the game on and declare (unlikely) or get bowled out. They were in such a strong position that the Barmy Army were winning the chant contest with their Australian counterparts hands down by simply being there. Jonathan Trott did receive warm applause from the crowd upon reaching the 150 mark, but between that many curt accusations were about, accusing him of playing for the wrong country.

The beer isn’t the cheapest, but it doesn’t taste too bad. Sadly for real, day-long binge types, it’s light beer, or in Australian lingo, mid-strength beer. There were many trips to the loo, which isn’t too much of a chore with lavatories being conveniently, almost too conveniently, located at most major exits and thoroughfares. The same can be said for the bars and fast-food counters. Compared to Wanderers or Newlands, there isn’t much variety but the food is good nonetheless. Not healthy obviously. Which Test ground chow isn’t? But good nonetheless. Pies are particularly popular in Australia and even the fast-food pie version (Four’N Twenty) which is scoffed at by those who know their pies, taste damn good.

Otherwise the rest of the menu is filled with your typical fast-food items, from burgers, chips and mini pizzas to wraps. All the stalls are quite efficient, where they pre-prepare the food (and beers), so all you have to do is walk in, take what you want, and pay. It’s all indoor as well, with a view of the city provided. And if you feel like an energy boost, you can grab a properly made coffee (with barista [fancy word for coffeemaker] and all by the machine) or a cooldrink and pie from the vendors who walk up and down the aisles.

Another notable incident, which was to be repeated throughout the day till tea, was the appearance of uniformed police officers right next to my seat as they patrolled the aisles all round the stadium …

The police are everywhere at the MCG, almost outnumbering the ground security staff who work in conjunction with the men in blue to maintain order. With the beer being half-strength, much of the problem is taken care of but they are there, watching, just making sure everybody behaves.

As the day wore on, so my wallet emptied as I had a few more drinks and noochie noochies to nibble on as Australia started their innings, and consistently lost wickets throughout the afternoon. England bowled exceptionally well as a unit, with Graeme Swann bowling superbly on a pitch that wasn’t offering much spin. I had a fat chat with an English fan who had moved to Adelaide and saw all five days of England’s win down there. He believed that finally the right people are in the right positions, and that’s why England have kicked on as they have done over the last few years. We also discussed Paul Collingwood’s future, with the Englishman comparing Collingwood to Steve Waugh in terms of grit and willingness to go kamikaze for the Three Lions. Considering that England will be heading to Sydney with the Ashes secured, he might get one last game. Whether or not he will be in the side of England’s next Test engagement is another matter entirely.

Just before tea, the time had come to decide what to do about the sun. I had been taking the Melbourne heat with aplomb, but my skin was telling me a different story. I made the most noobish, rookie error known to all those who have watched or will ever watch Test cricket: bring sun cream and lots of it. Dressed in cricket whites and interchanging between an old cricket shirt and a vest (a local favourite), my arms were now singed, so a change of location was called for. The sombrero I got hold of a week before wasn’t as big as I had hoped, and now the time had come to move and do a bit of exploring. The beer had stopped flowing as I became more absorbed with the cricket.

I decided to go up, and up, and up … and up. You climb many stairs (or take the ramp if you wish), and its takes so long that you wonder where on earth you are, but upon reaching the top level of the stand, this is the view you are greeted with …

Now protected by the shade, I saw Ricky Ponting get dismissed for what will be the last time ever at the MCG in Test cricket. Heck, it could’ve been his last innings ever considering how poorly his side have played this series. As a viewing point, on high was much better for seeing what sort of field England captain Andrew Strauss was setting. It also gave me the opportunity to see what line the bowlers were going for, which is how I saw Swann masterfully use drift, angle and speed as a substitute for spin and bounce. From the top you can see the stadium at its most statuesque.

For everything the MCG is, and it’s a lot, it lacks that drop of character which truly defines a Test match ground, that hint of uniqueness that lets you know you are watching Test cricket. The best way I could describe it is that the MCG can be copied and built elsewhere, though I’m sure the locals would disagree. Out of 10, it would score 7.5 and this is a purist’s rating. As a venue, it’s outstanding, but for Test cricket, there’s a little something missing.

In terms of the cricket, England have proven to be one slick unit and thoroughly deserve the victory they got a day later. It was the same hue of a side I saw in Cape Town at the beginning of the year, except more intense and focused. Australia didn’t see it coming (along with the selectors, who should share much of the blame for this very poor Australian side) and England now go to Sydney with the Ashes secured and 2-1 up in the series.