Are you planning a seaside holiday in December? Are you thinking about putting on a swimming cossie and entering the water? Perhaps you should reconsider.

I have been reading the Daily Sun since 2006, and amid all the stories about tokoloshes, 4-5s, muthi and sangomas, it was this piece of advice that stood out for me. Read what “Confused” wrote to Pastor Daniel in Monday’s Daily Sun and then enter the ocean knowing all the risks.

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Dear Pastor

My daughter went to the beach for a few days. When she came back she started prophesying the truth about the past. Is she possessed or was it caused by swimming, which may symbolize baptism?

– Confused

To which Pastor Daniel responded:

Dear Confused

There are spirits that dwell under water. We call them marine spirits. These include mermaids, and sea monsters. They have demonic powers and operate from under water. Many Satanists, devil worshippers and occultists use these evil forces.
In Mark chapter 5, demons begged Christ to cast them into a herd of pigs. The demons entered the pigs and they drowned in the sea. They used the pigs as a vehicle to re-enter the water realm. I encourage you to seek deliverance for your child through prayer. God bless you!

This raises all sorts of questions.

Every time we swim, are we in fact exposing ourselves to demons? This could explain why Joburgers seem to be drawn to Cape Town and Durban over the holidays, despite the overcrowding, lack of parking, poor service and high prices. The demons need to get back to the sea after filing their tax returns at the end of November.

The fact that huge numbers of South African go swimming in the sea on New Year’s Day could explain pretty much everything, including Riaan Cruywagen, Nonhle Thema and why nobody in this country is capable of indicating to turn left at a traffic circle.

Was the Cape cobra spotted swimming at Hout Bay actually a demon trying to get home?

Cape Cobra

What do great whites have to do with demons? Is there a connection? (If there is, the notion of the Seventh Seal suddenly makes a lot more sense.)

Seal

Are mermaids and sea monsters resident in the Nkandla firepool? (A possibility I inadvertently stumbled upon in my exhibition earlier this year.)

Nkandla firepool

Is this Kim Kardashian/ Little Mermaid mashup actually a sign of dark forces at work?
Ursula

And what of repeated childhood exposure to Sarel Seemonster?
Sarel Seemonster

Pastor Daniel, I am worried. We need clarity here.

– Signed, Even more confused

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Sarah Britten

Sarah Britten

During the day Sarah Britten is a communication strategist; by night she writes books and blog entries. And sometimes paints. With lipstick. It helps to have insomnia.

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