The front page news of the Thursday March 5 edition of Mondli Makhanya’s rather entertaining daily baby left me rather, erm, in an enthused state. Julius Malema missing a rally because he had been out late previously and was quite possibly nursing the effects of Bachuss’s vengeance. Now sure Julius sells papers, and makes for great radio too, if the response to the Whackhead episode is anything to go by.

But front page for a hangover? A blerrie swaak babalaas — and an unconfirmed one at that? This in a country where the bizzare, amazing, depressing, strange and wonderful are as commonplace as wailing at Newlands rugby stadium? Do we really need to know this much about his life? Anybody know what toothpaste he uses? Does he use condoms or favour the shower method? Does it blerrie matter?

Or maybe, is it a good sign? Do we no longer have hilariously comical cock-ups at Home Affairs, football bribery scandals, horrendous road accidents, excuses from Rassie for the Light Drizzles piss-poor performances, farm murders, taxi wars, currency shocks, verbal gymnastics from buck-passing politicos, the apparent Church of Cope, Helen Zille Botox gone wrong sagas (don’t I wish!) to keep us enthralled, exasperated and enthused all at once? Julius not handling his dop is the most newsworthy item on a respected daily?

I guess this means we are finally getting it right then, SA as a nation is moving steadily along to dull suburban civility. Or have we just given up?

Either way, thank you Jules for providing a distraction. Heaven forbid decent papers were driven to report on seven-headed, virgin-snatching Limpopo snakes. That will be a dark day.

ps. Next time-drinks lots of water before dozing off. Helps plenty.

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  • Siyabonga Ntshingila is a walking example of how not to go through life productively. Having been chanced his lackadaisical way through an education at one of the country's finest boys schools and a noted university, he then proceeded to unleash his special brand of inertia on the unsuspecting corporate world. Alas, as with all things in life, the scam could not go on forever, and like a deVaselined Ananias Mathe reality caught up with him and he is now (thanks to the undue influence of his beloved) making a living as a freelance writer and a sub-editor for Newstime.

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Siyabonga Ntshingila

Siyabonga Ntshingila is a walking example of how not to go through life productively. Having been chanced his lackadaisical way through an education at one of the country's finest boys schools and a...

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