Sinful tax driving one to drink

We are a much-maligned lot, we who have a fondness for fortifying malt-based beverages. Whenever the government needs a quick fix to balance its books, pay for JZ’s legal fees, Trevor’s follicle treatments etc we get milked. Just like that. No-one ever thinks about the good we do. Not only do we contribute to the fiscus via income tax and VAT, but we also have to put up with duties on our beloved nectar. Not even the Shaik family gives that big a boost to government coffers.

Think about this — last year’s tax burden on beer was a massive 33% of the list price, at least according to the genii at Fin24. That’s emergent BEE-mover tax rates!

And the revenue collected from taxes on alcohol in 2005 was almost a billion rand. A BILLION RONTS Trevor! That would have bought at least one of those submarines and fighter jets JZ is probably wishing the ANC hadn’t gotten the catalogue for. Do we at least get a 30-minute joyride for every six-pack of beer consumed? Do we even get to pose next to them for pictures? Nyet. Bambi would get more love at a National Rifle Association convention I tell you.

Add the fact that the imbibing of beer is almost by definition a social activity and the spending potential increases. Also said, imbibing will invariably be accompanied by the ingestion of simple carbohydrates and proteins, often in a licensed entrepreneurial establishment. So then, beer becomes its own economic multiplier factor — bet Adam Smith did not figure that one ha!

So why then is Trevor, and his merry bean-counters at the Treasury, so intent on milking the very last cent of our pastime? Pretty soon, one will be forced to forego the pub and buy all their booze at Tops, Ultra Liquors, MaDlamini’s etc and sit down to watch the game in front of the telly at home. The amateur economist in me can see this robbing pubs and bars of their clientele and impacting negatively on the proprietors and the staff. And let’s be honest with each other here, Trevor, a beer downed without casting a leery eye over a buxom waitress just isn’t cricket mate. Am I lying?

That kicks in a reverse multiplier effect, which in these “economically turbulent times” (© every wannabe economics smarty-pants) is the last thing we need. And knowing circular bureaucratic logic, you’d seek to redress this by increasing so-called “sin taxes” to make up the fiscal deficit. No?

Have you learnt nothing from the tobacco trade — a truly sinful (and largely anti-social) activity if there ever was one — raising prices, does little to affect the core demand for an addictive good. See the rise in sales of illicit smokes and booze — again over to the boffins at Fin24. If you really want people to drink less, get behaviour redressing programmes going. Educate, inform and enlighten but, please, let us poor responsible drinkers be, Trev.

You want to help remedy social ills? Tax food companies involved in price fixing an extra percentage point on their profits, instead of giving them a slap-on-the-wrist fine. Incidentally that would quite likely drive their executives to splash out more on booze and lunch at the local Teasers as they try balance their books. There’s that multiplier effect again boet.

Tax men’s white linen pants if you must, white Gucci loafers and pastel-coloured sweaters as well while you are at it. Any man spending money on those surely has more money than his necessities and indulgences take up. Tax companies that advertise sanitary pads during supper-time, too. But leave beer alone Trev, for the sake of national unity if nought else. Have you never seen an SAB ad? Or those groovy Windhoek ads with Louis Gossett Jr?

A final note: tax concessions for lobola mate? Firstly, a stable marriage is good for society. Secondly, I have this thing for virtuous women, some sort of unconscious cry for help and salvation I think and, as JZ would tell you, they don’t come cheap. My intention with them is of course to contribute to a better country by producing worthy sprog and not the sozzled imbeciles I’d likely bring forth with a woman whose character is similar to mine.

See, we drinkers are always looking out for SA.

Anyway — heed my advice.

Please.