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Ndumiso Ngcobo

Posts published by “Ndumiso Ngcobo”

Once upon a time, Ndumiso Ngcobo used to be an intelligent, relevant man with a respectable (read: boring-as-crap) job which funded his extensive beer habit.

One day he woke up and discovered that he had lost his mind, quit his well-paying job, penned a collection of hallucinations. A bunch of racist white guys published the collection just to make him look more ridiculous and called it 'Some of my best friends are white'. (Two Dogs, ISBN 978-1-92013-718-2).

Nowadays he spends his days wandering the earth like Kwai Chang Caine, munching locusts, mumbling to himself like John the Baptist and searching for the meaning of life at the bottom of beer mugs.

The racist publishers have reared their ugly heads again and dangled money in his face to pen yet another collection of hallucinations entitled 'Is It Coz 'm Black'.

He will take cash, major credit cards and will perform a strip tease for contributions to his beer fund.

I’m seriously considering voting for the FFP

Starvation dictates that I do some television work now and then. TV programmes pay for FHM subscriptions and other such essentials. To this end, I…

Do dof people know that they’re dof?

Reading through my last offering titled “Other people’s kids”, I realised that I had made an accidental point. You know, one I didn’t mean to…

Other people’s kids

People assume that just because one is a parent, one loves kids. Rubbish, I can’t stand kids that are not my own. And there’s nothing…

Not everybody should be allowed to vote

Election fever is starting to grip the nation as it does round about this time, every 5 years. This is when that bunch of pretty…

Me, Madame Fifi and dripping taps

The last time I paid my brothel a visit, I left feeling much better about myself. No, not because of the clothes-pegs-on-earlobes thing Luscious Lulu…

No. Pedestrians are not like gemsbok

I have a morbid fear of being run over by a car. The fear is a little on the irrational side. Even if someone assured…

Another year in the pursuit of misery

It’s that time of the year again when most people are in a resolute mood about all the things they’re going to change in the…

Jesus at Tops. Sanity is way overrated

Regular readers of this space are not in any doubt that the source of my inspiration is a brain that does not function too effectively.…

So, the dog finally catches its tail.

I really enjoyed seeing president Mbeki being booted out of office last week. No, not because I necessarily wanted him out. I quite enjoyed his…