Playing the Springboks should be a privilege, not a right

Watching the Springboks take on Italy this past weekend was about as enjoyable as having my car stolen, or breaking a leg.

The atrocious weather conditions certainly played a part — with Francois Steyn almost swimming his way over for the first try of the match — but the Italians should really shoulder most of the blame, having arrived on the field intent on keeping the score down. On attack, they looked about as threatening as a common garden slug, turning the match into a bit of a farce, as garden slugs are not renowned for their attacking prowess.

Thankfully, I was able to sit through it while slouched on my leather couch, with the heater on full blast and my trusty whiskey tumbler nearby. For the unfortunate fans who made the trek to the Newlands stadium, however, this must have been hell on earth.

Which brings me to my next point — why make the fans pay R200 a ticket to watch a substandard Italian team participate in what is essentially an 80-minute tackling session? Their effort might be lauded as “gutsy” and “brave”, but there is nothing admirable about trying to lose by as few points as possible; it’s a defeatist attitude used by losers who have already thrown in the towel. That Italy, rugby’s equivalent of a pre-owned Fiat Uno, could have the chutzpah to send over a reserve side to play the world champions is nothing short of scandalous.

In fact, I am getting rather irritated with the attitudes of the European nations who regularly arrive on our shores minus nine or 10 of their first-team players, the majority of whom are not injured but are merely being “rested”. We saw this a few weeks back with the Welsh, who are the current Six Nations champions but had a distinctly “second-string” aroma about them.

If I were Oregan Hoskins, I would be deeply offended by all this — it’s like throwing a party at your house, only for your best mates to no-show, sending their second-cousins and introverted work colleagues in their stead.

Why don’t these guys like touring here? Do we smell?

Sure, we’re in the middle of our winter right now, but a winter’s day in Cape Town is still a damn site better than a summer’s day in Scunthorpe or Brighton. It’s time Saru showed some balls and stopped hosting these little mid-year soirees; our players can then spend the extra time further honing their skills in preparation for the real test — the Tri-Nations, where Australia and New Zealand will try to knock us off our pedestal.

Quite frankly, as world champions we should get to choose who we play and when — it’s a common practice in boxing and I don’t see why rugby can’t follow suit. We would thus only play countries who show us the required respect by selecting their best team while proving that they are indeed worthy of challenging us. Countries would need to earn the right to play the Springboks, and if that means that the likes of Italy and Scotland miss out, then so be it — rugby can be a cruel sport, and there can be no place for sentiment.

What this would also mean, of course, is that the Springboks would play less frequently, meaning a match featuring them would be a real event, one that crowds would flock to see. The power should lie in our hands, and we shouldn’t have to pander to any schedules or itineraries.

The last time I checked, the William Webb Ellis trophy was sitting in our cabinet; it’s time the rest of the world was reminded about that fact.