Of and concerning Zuma

Zuma is a beautiful boy. His big doleful eyes and playful face have been a hit with the press. Every photographer making funny gobbledygook sounds to try and get his attention. Moving the camera about until the light catches that soft wisp of hair on his shining dome. Much to everyone’s delight, he has now started to walk. And very soon he will even talk. His parents must be very proud.

Zuma really comes alive at night. When the straight-lacers are all tucked up in bed, it’s time to pump. Zuma drops the needle and the music begins to pulse. The beat starts to grind. Let’s get our sweat on. Five buck Jagerbombs and champagne flow til dawn. Got no cash? Don’t worry, Zuma takes all major credit cards.

Don’t think you can resist.

The Zuma is everything you want and desire. A fuel-injected four-stroke engine built into an easy- to-mount frame. All growl and leisure. There’s room for two on top of that ample saddle. Add tough beefy shocks and two fat tires and you’ll want to ride this thing even in a shower.

But Zuma isn’t just sex on a stick. Zuma is for all seasons and every occasion. Whatever your colour choice, Hollywood pink, Olive, Charcoal or Lime, for a small price, Zuma can be yours today.

Ready to lead you off into a world of fun! Zuma is animated, filled with intrigue and devilish action. But beware of traps and trickery along the way. You’ll need to play smart if you want to find Zuma’s hidden treasure trove.

If you’re starting to worry, please don’t. Zuma has humanity. It’s called Zumanity. Like two men dancing on a stage. Ebbing and flowing. Bobbing and weaving. Dancing in harmony. Locked in accord. Beautiful to watch. But then again it could just be an act.

Jacob Zuma. President of South Africa. To run a country like this you need the energy of a night club, the power of a Yamaha, the carrying capacity of a big handbag, the imagination of a computer game and the ability to enthral like the Cirque du Soleil.