Nasa: Going beyond the clouds

It seems not even revered aeronautical institution Nasa could escape the belt-tightening effects of the recession.

Their chosen solution though was something you will not find in any scientific or engineering journals. Reports today indicate that cocaine was found in a processing hangar for the shuttle Discovery. Nasa, however, officially deny that the stash formed part of Project Sky High, Nasa’s recession-busting plan for creating the illusion of space flight among its astronauts.

A source within Nasa, however, confirms that at a budget meeting held last January, when the recession bit the worst, it was decided to cut back on non-essentials such as space trips for astronauts who “had already been there and were not going to return with any new inputs or discoveries”. The thinking was that between the fact that the astronauts are already familiar with the sensations, sights and feel of space flight, and the next few space trips were merely for maintenance purposes, it made a lot more sense to “simulate” the trip and thus save on much-needed funds. The source also added that astronauts who had already “gone beyond the clouds” did in fact return with startling new insights gained on their observations of old data while on their erm … trip.

It is rumoured that the authority is considering applying this new approach going forward in an effort to display a new sense of financial prudence. Also “it’s about time the bladdy Russians pulled their weight instead of spending the whole time drinking and organically recycling vodka while boasting about sending unfortunate dogs to space before America”.

However, it was apparently not all doom and gloom at the space administration as “core budgetary items” like the cafeteria menu and staff mopeds were spared the accountant’s red pen.

The source would, however, not confirm if the moon landing had been achieved using the same methods and whether this would explain Buzz Aldrin’s rather erratic behaviour since that historic day.