Dame EvitaDame Evita Bezuidenhout, in her boudoir, hangs up the phone with someone named, “Barack” (Obama not Ehud presumably) and says, “blah blah blah, option A, blah blah blah, option C, blah blah blah, what about option B? … blah blah blah … now you can’t just have A ‘n C …”

Now everyone has been saying that its a demographic advert and that “option A = All Boys option (full chicken, jumbo chips, four rolls, two litre soft drink)” and that “option C = Couples option (two chicken burgers, half chicken, jumbo chips, two rolls, two litre soft drink)” because the meal types are supposedly sold according to some great gender based formula, which says that in a group of two girls and two guys, the two girls will eat chicken burgers. Personally I think this is a load of nonsense.

But then there are others that say that option A ‘n C is supposed to sound like option ANC and thus create the idea that there should be an alternative to the ANC — in the form of option B … however this does not correlate to the advent of Cope or any of the other opposition parties, unless you are to assume that A represents Africans, C represents Coolies, Chinamen and Coloureds and B represents Boeres. But somehow I doubt this.

It is the mincing queen within Dame Evita that gives the game away. However, in a nonchalant expression of defiance, on behalf of every women/man seeking a wedding band to go with her/his engagement ring, she says you can’t just have A ‘n C as in Ante Nuptial Contract … leaving the door open for marriage negotiations in respect of a COP as in Community of Property … thus yielding ANC vs COP.

It is indeed true that the political sentiment of the recent past has been incompatibility, divorce, accusations of adultery and the like and, as such, that it is understandable why this metaphor would be touted now, given that political marriages, while ostensibly for life and mutual contribution, tend to be “what’s mine is mine tussles” and a lot of ante nuptial contracting.

I have no idea what option B is, but if you are to assume that A is the ANC, and C is the IFP (in order of represented size) and that COP is the new option, then option B must be the DA. But if COP is the next option (in terms of media darling status) and if COP has taken the IFP’s position of harvesting the ANC’s glory and opposing the ANC’s one-sided whims, then it must be that COPE is (according to Dame Evita’s logic) Option D ‘n C (hopefully not as in Dilation and Curretage).

*** PARODY NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY ***

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Avishkar Govender

Avishkar Govender is the Chief Political Officer of MicroGene.

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